A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:Here goes have asked questions before and it has been helpful. I met a man about two years ago, he is on the shy side and awkward. My daughter is in sports, that is how I met him. He always would come and support her at her games and fundraisers etc. This summer I had some issues, needing help and he was always there to help. I began to think that he liked me and so did many of my friends some seem to notice it as well. I mentioned to him that I thought he was sweet and handsome and we should go out for coffee. His response was that he thought I was a nice person and a good mom. He told me we were friends and hoped he didn't lead me on. I was sort of mad, but cut my loses and decided to continue to look. I was set up with a guy by a friend and of course the other guy tried to ask me out for coffee. I decided to say no. I only had a few dates with the set up. Since then the other guy and I started chatting again a lot online (like we did this summer). He mentioned a woman he met online three years ago(after his divorce), but never met. He apparently wanted to meet her and made plans to but, it never happened. He told me I wouldn't believe it. It sounded like he was done with her and she was in his past. He ended up asking me out again and I decided why not. We had a really good time and I felt really comfortable with him. Had a great Valentines Day, he made me a heart shaped cake and bought me some perfume. Things were moving along pretty quick, since I have already known him. He also told me he was thinking of getting his own place in my area. He began to start sharing things with me and I did as well. We were on our fourth date and were sitting talking and he looked upset. I asked him what was wrong. He asked me if I remembered him telling me about this woman he met online. I said yes. He told me that he wanted to tell me her story, but promised he wouldn't. He went on to tell me that she lives in another state and that we know each other. She even knew I date this one man. I also know some of her family members. He was playing on a softball team last summer and she came to one of the games, but didn't stay to meet him. He told me if they met then he would have to leave this sports team. I'm totally perplexed on who this person is. I began to feel as if this person is more important than me in his life. Here we are on a date and he is talking about her. He told me how important trust is, but I can't trust him now. He told me he would be friends with her forever. I have a weird feeling about this person. I feel this person is lying to him and playing games. If this person is such a good friend, why are they hiding from them and not wanting to meet in person. I think this person does live in our area and not out of state and isn't who she claims to be. I did tell him my feelings in a text and that he should remember that I am here and that person is not. This person seems to have a strange hold on him and it's not healthy. I plan on meeting with him and telling him how I feel. If he can't tell me who this person is and the story, I'm gone. I refuse to be second choice or even worse a physical replacement for this person. I was just wondering if anyone had some thoughts on this situation.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013): This it the person, who posted the question. I decided to put that I met him through sports, but it was community theatre. I forgot to add to the story that he told me that I knew this person and that she knows me. I also know a few members of this person's family.
A
male
reader, CMMP +, writes (27 February 2013):
I get the feeling you didn't write this very clearly, but I too wonder why this guy would be supporting your daughter at sports games and fundraisers.
This guy sounds all around fishy, I'd stay away from him if I was you.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 February 2013): I think you've already found the solution to your problem. You said that you refuse to be this man's second choice or a physical replacement for his "cyberwoman"? Stand by that. Obviously he's hung up on her, so let him chase her all across the Web. You don't need to wait around for him to make up his mind. From what you've said, this "cyberwoman" sounds like a shady character. I think you should be there as a friend for him, but avoid involving yourself in this affair.
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