A
female
age
36-40,
*adAsh6705
writes:Hi everyone!First I just want to say that I love this site, it's very helpful to hear others' opinions on things...Lately I've been questioning how I feel about my relationship with my boyfriend of almost a year. I really do love this guy and care about him a lot, and he feels the same, but lately I've been thinking about how different we really are, and I'm beginning to wonder if I should end it.The main reason why I feel this way is because he doesn't have any kind of plan for his future. We are both still pretty young (I'm 23, he's 24) and when I first met him I had just moved to the city and was living with my grandparents for awhile, it took awhile for me to find a job and I was out of school for a year and 1/2, but now I've got a good, stable job, a house, and I'm back in school. I keep thinking about what I want to do when I graduate in 2 years and I just feel like I have good things going for me and am excited about the future, but my boyfriend still works at a low-level, low-paying job, and he can't get back in school because he owes money for student loans and he is not really doing anything about it. He always says that he wants to go back, but I don't see him doing anything to make that happen. I'm just confused because otherwise he's a good boyfriend, but I really want to be with someone who is motivated to do something with his life. Should I give him a chance and stay with him? or should I end it now and avoid possibly wasting time with him? I would love to hear what you think, especially if anyone here has ever been in this situation!
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): Well this post is a lot different from your post but my answer has a few lines on motivation as well.Can you please check it out?
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/why-cant-he-work-harder-to-get-my.html
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): Frustrating situation because it seems like you'll suffer either way. If you leave him because of his lack of motivation you'll feel bad because you like him. And if you stay with him you'll feel bad because he doesn't share your excitement for life and commitment to the future. You know what you have to do. You have to leave him. But How sure of yourself are you? How bad do you really want to have a great future? How much do you believe he might be cute and all but you deserve better? Are you willing to suffer a little and stay strong and put responsibility before feelings?
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (28 November 2008): if you love each other, and enjoy your time together, what does it matter what he is doing when you aren't with him? job or not, if you two are happy then enjoy it. some people just aren't motivated, but that doesn't mean they are any less caring or loving. i think it is silly to look past all you have and end things when you are both perfectly happy because of money worries. would you rather have some high-flying businessman that was never home in the evenings?
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