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male
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*ntonio P
writes: Hello,I am married since 1994, one son and living quite well with my wife up to now. Some 7 months ago I got acquainted with a younger woman (10 years; 40 versus 30 years old) and as I saw her for the very first time, I got a strange sensation about her... Soon after I felt completely in love with her..It is a powerful thing that is making my life turn around; my wife already knows about it, although I have said that things are cooler these days ...Since I had (and still continue to have) to see this woman everyday - as I am her scientific tutor in her professional stage - am not in a position to stop seeing her, neither can talk to her on this; she is recently married and if I told her something about it, I am afraid that our relation would change, since we do have a nice personal as well as professional relationship (but the personal level hasn't overcome a quite superficial level). I am trying to fight these feelings for her everyday but I don't know what to do anymore; I feel like a 20 year old teen completely lost ... not having a clue on what to do...I am sending you this e-mail since I have nothing to loose.Thanks for your attentionAntonio P Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2006): Check out the following posts on this forum:
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/worried-my-carefully-crafted-platonic-relationship-may-go.html
http://www.dearcupid.org/question/i-adore-someone-who-is-not-my-wife.html
Let us know if they help you.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2006): So much here needs to be added do you need to see her all the time? Do you see her everyday on a conversation level or just glimpse her walking by and it makes you think about her? and how did you meet them 7 months ago? does she have any idea how you feel? because if we know all this someone can have a better picture to help you deal with this.take care honey xXx :o)
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A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (22 October 2006):
 Antonio, you will have a much better experience on this forum if you respond to the posts of the agony aunts. That way, not only can we provide better and more focused feedback, but you may also have a "eureka!" moment when re-reading the exchanges. If you never respond then you will continue to be clueless about your feelings.
Talk to us some more. Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2006): Well, first off - it IS okay to crush a little on someone. Younger, older, it's okay to look and maybe think a few dirty thoughts. BUT, it's not okay to act on it. Or to start ruining your own life because of it.
Are you sure there's no way to get this woman another tutor? I think tutoring - especially 1-on-1 tutoring is a very bad situation for you right now.
You need to put some work into your own marriage. Maybe you've gotten a little bored in the routine at home. You need to rediscover your wife. Have a little crush on HER again. You know what they say. You need to bring back the spark.
One last thing.
DO NOT under ANY circumstance tell this woman about your feelings. Why mess up HER marriage like that, or make things awkward between the two of you? If she doesn't feel the same way about you, she might lose a lot of respect for you as you're trying to cross some pretty unprofessional lines.
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A
female
reader, shania  +, writes (21 October 2006):
 Your wife must be in turmoil over this,knowing that you still see this woman every day? How did she find out?...did you tell her?....Another thing is,how do you know that you are in love with her? You haven't had a intimate relationship together so it could be just a strong infatuation,a crush.If you were to tell her how you felt i think she would be probably shocked,as she has just got married,so she is going to be all loved up with her new husband.When people get married it doesn't stop then from being attracted to other people,its human nature...but its down to you on whether you pursue it or not.You have a wife and a young child to think about,are you willing to destroy that set up on a infatuation? If you do find it difficult to keep seeing her then i suggest that you change your job or try and put some effort into your marriage.
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