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male
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*imply j
writes: hi,going through hell at the moment,im 33 married with 2 kids 12 and 14.my wife is 43,and im not in love with her.i do fancy a girl who works next to me who is 25,im no good at asking girls out how do i let her know i like her.
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female
reader, bonym  +, writes (6 August 2006):
 I love what Dr Psych has written, its brilliant and so true about hell etc. I am inclined to respond the way the anonymous female reader has, but let me say this; WAKE UP/
Can you not see the danger in what you are thinking and want to do? Whether you like her or not, and regardless of her age, you are MARRIED NOT single so until you sort out your marital problems, leave this woman alone. xXx
A
male
reader, Wild Thaing  +, writes (6 August 2006):
 To minimize the damage, you do things in this order:
1) You divorce your wife and ditch your family in the process.
2) You then confess your undying love for that pretty young thing.
Once you discover that your pretty young thing does not fill the gaps in your life, you do it over again. And again until you have left utter destruction in your wake.
Or you can try to figure out what is currently missing in your life and spare your children a lifetime of suffering.
Each choice you make in life comes with a set of consequences. The real test for you is whether or not you're man enough to take responsibility for the choices that you make.
Good luck and take care.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2006): Why the hell are you asking how to ask the girl out????YOU ARE MARRIED. whether you love your wife or not is IRRELEVENT. If you donbt then let her know how your feeling and move out. Get some work on yourself for at least 12 months before you even consider dating.....GROW UP
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A
female
reader, Bev Conolly  +, writes (6 August 2006):
 Everything Dr Psych said!
Put simply, you *don't* ask out the girl from work. If you don't love your wife, you either work on your marriage, or you decide it's over and you separate from her.
Unless and until you've made that choice, leave the work woman right out of your plans.
(And speaking from personal experience, dating a coworker is awkward at *best*. At worst, it can be a horrifying job-quitting nightmare. Just. Don't.)
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A
female
reader, DrPsych +, writes (6 August 2006):
 If you think it is hell, it is going to get a lot hotter if you pursue an affair at work. You say you don't love your wife but you must have once so why not focus your energies on rekindling that relationship...counselling...a holiday away...whatever it takes. I guess the girl in work knows you are married with kids so if you ask her for a date she will think badly of you if she has any self respect, as most single women dont want married guys. If you have an affair in work, the office gossips will get to work on you and your work-related prospects may disappear as employers rarely like affairs at work. The girl is at work and even if she agrees to date you what happens next? You have a fling, it doesn't work out and then you are left facing each other over the desk every morning...embarrassing...Imagine your kids find out you have been playing away from home. As teenagers they are already at a difficult age and you should be a good role-model - imagine your kids come home in a few years time and tell you they are seeing someone married...don't tell me you won't be bothered by that. Finally, if you don't love your wife then surely you must have some feelings - even platonic - for her...imagine how she will feel about being passed up for the younger model. If you really must see someone else, at least have the decency to separate from your wife first.
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