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Loving girlfriend but all I can think about is her exes

Tagged as: Dating, Friends, Sex, Teenage, The ex-factor, Troubled relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (23 March 2009) 2 Answers - (Newest, 23 March 2009)
A female United Kingdom age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hi,

Im in a loving relationship with my girlfriend. When we started going out everything was great and I was never worried or jealous of previous sexual partners but as we are together longer I get more and more jealous.

We are lesbians and because she has been with men before me (I was her first woman) I think about them doing stuff to her and it drives me mad. Its taking a toll on our relationship because Im so moody as all I can think about it guys touching her and pleasuring her.

I have always been insecure but never this much. Im just pushing her away and I dont want to but I cant get over the fact she was with people before me. I think she will miss what she had and want to go back to normal sex with guys. When I talk to her about it she just says its made her who she is today and shes with me now not them but that doesnt change what goes through my head.

How can I get these thoughts out my head for good? Its ruining my relationship

View related questions: her ex, insecure, jealous, lesbian

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A female reader, howcomehoney France +, writes (23 March 2009):

howcomehoney agony auntThe past is the past. You're going to have to deal with this on your own. Most people you will date will not be virgins, we all have our stories behind us. So your girlfriend dated guys before. Most (not all, but most) lesbians have slept with a man at some point. She's with you now. Does she give you any reason to think she's going to cheat on you? I don't see why she would.

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A male reader, previasc96 United States +, writes (23 March 2009):

She's gonna end up cheating on you with guys. She's not a lesbian. She loves men but thinks she can't trust them and wants an alternative.

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