A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hmm, well this is worth a try if it makes me feel better about stuff.i just need an outsiders advice and oppinion about this. I feel so left out sometimes :\ like, cause I have 4 best friends, but 2 main ones. Jeni- main girl best mateJ- boyfriend and best mateRhys- guy mateBethany – girl mateBut anyways, Rhys and me used to go out and he was trying to get over me and stuff. And i literally tried everything to help him :\ I even tried not being friends cause I know how hard it is to get over a friend (as I had to with him for a bit) so I tried to not be friends so he could get over me and like it wasn’t fair for me not to give him the chance to get over me. So I tried but he downright refused and we had argument after argument, but we finally sorted everything out. Then a month later he told me he likes my best girl mate (jeni) and I wasn’t thrilled tbh. I was happy that he was trying to get over me and stuff. But, not so happy it was with my best mate. But, I said yeah fine if she likes you go for it. And I said NOTHING against it, I just said if you both really like each other then its definitely worth it. But if you just have a crush on her is it worth fucking up relationships (because Gareth-rhys’ friend- likes jeni a lot) so I said just be careful what you do and think about consquences. But. Whatever happens I refuse to stand in your way. And then all of his friends started having a go at me for “getting in the way”. But HE told ME. I never asked to know, in fact I guessed he did but I didn’t want to get involved with that because its not my place to be really. Not my place to give advice, but Rhys practically forced me to help so I thought about it and that (^above) advice was the best thing I could come up with. But still his friends blamed me because as it turned round Jeni didn’t like him and she said that even if she did it would be weird (cause he’s my ex. Which is understandable. I mean you don’t want to go out with your friends ex do you? Specially not a best friends ex) Plus she likes somebody else and Rhys is not her type in the least, some of his qualities are a turn off to her and therefore she only sees him as a friend. But, she decided to tell Rhys that she didn’t know if she liked him or not (her choice, I said it’s better to be honest) because she didn’t want to be mean or harsh. (im not sure wether or not she means that)But over the past few weeks they’ve been getting closer and closer, and I feel like I’m losing BOTH my best friends :\ Because before Jeni and Rhys wasn’t close at all. They was friends, but not best friends. And I liked having a different friend because Jeni is best friends with people I’m not too, and I’m constantly around Jeni so it’s nice when Rhys comes over to talk to me. But now, he looks THROUGH me to see Jeni standing behind me. Which sucks because Jeni is one of those drop dead gorgeous girls that every guy and girl alike (but a few) will look behind me or over my shoulder to see her even if I’m talking to them. I’ve just accepted that fact. I don’t like it at all, it upsets me a lot. But I’ve learnt to just accept that fact and concentrate on the people that actually seen me as a person. I concentrated on the people I wasn’t invisible to. (Jeni –ovb- , J, Bethany, Ben and Rhys-used to-) Rhys always used to see us both. He didn’t look through ether of us, and he never used to just see jeni’s gorgeous looks. He seen two best friends.But now all he sees is her gorejous looks and amazing personality. This may sound like I’m jelous. But I’m really not. I love my life. And I love Jeni to bits. She’s a star and I can totally see why he likes her. I mean, any guy would Seriously. But. I just don’t get why Rhys’ new crush has to mean that I lose 2 of my closest friends :\ if im being selfish please say. But, it upsets me that it’s happening and I can’t stop it :(
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best friend, crush, my ex Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (27 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWell, if i'm honest i don't really know how i feel towards him, because after the break up we both wanted to stay close. But it's not the case of "i want him he's mine", because i am very happy with my boyfriend. But i'm just scared that with both of them getting together it would put a lot of strain on all 3 relationships. Plus he constantly "falls for" my best/close friends. Which is very annoying, i want him to be with somebody that makes him happy. But does it HAVE to be the person i see as my sister?
and she likes somebody else. and has done for a while. but she says that right now she doesn't want a guy in her life and loves the fact that because my boyfriend doesn't go to my school and she's single, we get to spend a lot of time together. so i dont think she likes him. but i dont know.
some of his friends have told me that he's using that as an exscuse to try to make me jelous. and i sort of beleve them (not being big headed) but i know he still likes me. he constantly tells me. And how he could only ever be happy with me. And i feel really bad, but i dont feel the same. Does anyone have any ideas about this whole situation?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionBut she doesnt want to be with him? and even he said its not worth all the risks. am i selfish for not wanting my ex to date my best mate?
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 June 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionPlease help :(
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