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Love stories about getting with the ex?

Tagged as: Love stories, The ex-factor<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (22 January 2011) 6 Answers - (Newest, 22 January 2011)
A female Australia age 30-35, *bsolutelyinsane writes:

Ever gotten back with an ex? How long did you guys separate? Did things work out in the end?

I recently got back together with mine after a long break up period of 10 months. I'm curious to know who shares a similar experience and ultimately, if they made the right choice or not.

View related questions: got back together, period

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A male reader, joe culls Kenya +, writes (22 January 2011):

joe culls agony auntmy friend, am really happy that you have gotten back together..it has given me lotsa hopes in may be, just may be, i will get back to my lovely ex...am trying to move on but she lingers on my mind everyday...start afresh the relationship and dont repeat what had broken you apart. . .i wish you the very best

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011):

Well I dated this girl for 14 months about two months after ending a relationship with a ex-Fiancée. I got nervous and broke up with her. About a year later we started dating again after much begging and pleading on my part and we have now been married for 10 years.

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A female reader, chigirl Norway +, writes (22 January 2011):

chigirl agony auntI tried to get back with an ex once. But while we were broken up we were still having casual sex from time to time, which I think was the worst thing we could have done. The sex was great, but there was nothing to build a relationship on other than the sex at the end. We were broken up for 6 months I think or so. Then tried to get back together but it only worked halfways for a month or so and then we just slid apart, both realizing that all we could feel for each other was lust.

Probably could have worked better if we hadn't had contact in those months, it would have also been easier to see the forest between the trees, if you understand what I mean. We were just afraid to let go, it's not like we really wanted the other. We were just afraid of letting go and be alone.

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A reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011):

Yeah ! I just got back with my ex. we were together since 4 years and then we broke up ! and after 3-4 months we are together again .. but she had another relationship in these 3-4 months and also slept with him. but i love her soooo much and so does she. So i have no problem with her this past ! but u know .. human nature :) .. thoughts come to my mind sometimes but i think .. that its not her fault in any way .. she was in relationship when she was not with me .. so she had right to do it. :)

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011):

I dated a wonderful woman for 2 months before we split up. At that point I'd been single for a number of years (casual flings not included) and at 28 I was ready to find 'the one' and settle down.

She was so stunning I actually walked up and asked her out in a coffee shop (in front of her friends!) a real case of taking the situation by its balls if you know what I mean... I was terrified but came across very smooth (had a whole conversation planned in my head) in the end I forgot my name (!) but she must have though it was cute as she agreed to go out with me the following evening. We had a date that was so perfect it was completely out of this world. Not only was she stunning, she was super intelligent, came from money, had good morals and values and was just so damn charming I felt like a school boy again!

At the end of the date it was revealed that she was only 19!! I felt like Christmas had been cancelled! I'd dated younger women in the past and they always ended up being childish, jealous etc and it would never work....

Still... it had been a very long time since I'd 'clicked' with someone and decided to give it a go... three months into the relationship I realised I'd made a huge mistake. The girl had turned out to be even more amazing than I first though and I felt myself falling for her big time!! But rather than being pleased by the fact that I was ready to settle down she seemed nervous by any conversation along those lines and started talking about all the places she wanted to move to and all the things se wanted to do before getting married... I realised then and there that it wouldn't work... It was my fault for going down this road when I'd known from the start that it wouldn't work... but by then I had fallen hard for this girl and the break up was one of the most heart breaking things I have ever gone through.

I sat her down and told her that we wanted different things and that it was better to end it now. We sat and we talked for a while. She was heartbroken as she'd really fallen for me too and in her own words 'was in love with me'.

I had expected her to be angry or hysterical (all those things I'd gone through before) but instead see stood up, gave me a hug and with one tear rolling down her check she turned to me and said 'I'll miss you' - then she left. I don't know why by every time I think of that day I fell my heart breaking a little. She was so sad but so dignified when she left... I nearly ran after her there and then!

Fast forward a few months and I'd been on a number of dates with various women and was trying to move on. But I kept comparing everyone with her and none stood a chance. It kept going for a few weeks and I'll always remember this period of my life as one of the worst.

I spoke to the girl shortly before valentines and told her how confused I was and how much I missed her. She told me that she wanted me back but not if I wasn't sure. Valentines was approaching and I had booked a table at a top London restaurant, by then I'd met an american woman online and we'd been exchanging a number of messages and it seemed promising, still at the same time I wanted to take 'the girl' out and restart our relationship. I told her that I was really confused and had booked a table to take her out but that I wasn't sure. She said wouldn't make any plans for valentines and would hope to hear from me.

Valentines came and I decided to take the american woman out for dinner. She had sounded lovely and was the right age, in a stable job and wanted to settle down. In her pictures she was beautiful ... in short everything I wanted... and I was trying desperately to move on. It breaks my heart to think of 'the girl' sitting at home by the phone waiting for a call that wouldn't come but I had justified it all in my mind.

The dinner was nice. The american was entertaining, charming even, she said all the right things and was obviously very keen on me but in the back of my mind I couldn't stop thinking of 'her'. Compared to 'her' the american sounded dull and I couldn't find any of the playful banter I had enjoyed with the girl.

'The girl' had made it clear that valentines was the cut off point, if I didn't know by then she wouldn't wait. When she didn't hear from me by the evening she made arrangements to go to NYC for the weekend (never one of admirers she had arranged to meet an ex boyfriend).

By the end of the valentines dinner I knew I had made a mistake. I loved 'girl', I had loved her from the first date and the only think keeping me from being at her side was the fact that I was 'ready' to settle down... realisation hit me like a sledge hammer... what's the point of being ready when there's only on person that is worth being 'ready' wtih?! I was on the phone trying to reach 'girl' before I'd even got rid of the american!

I spent the next day calling 'girl' depseratly, leaving her message after message, hundereds of text and I was so desperate.

Finally we I got hold of her and she agreed to see me. It felt like coming home.

I told her everything and how stupid I had been. There was only on person in the world I wanted to be with. If she wasn't ready to settle down then I'd be with her, waiting, until she was.

9 months later I proposed

3 years later we got married

6 years later we had our first child

8 years later we had our second child

Today, almost 15 years later I can tell you that I have never been happier. She was the one, I was just in such a hurry to settle down I didn't see it. The only point of settling down is doing it with the right person. If you can find the right person then the rest just doesn't matter

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (22 January 2011):

hi.

yes i did get back together with my exand its been even better then bfore.

when we met we dove in head first i think it was way to quick like by the end of the first month we had already moved in anyways after 3 months we kinda had quite a few fights cause we didnt even really know each other well. then we had this major fight over me not knowing that he had once been married and had a baby girl. and we broke up for 3 months over that time i never heard from him we didnt speak but i couldnt forget him i did crazy things all to try and forget and move on. but then we met one day and we talked propaly talked and since then we have a huge understanding of each other we r very honest, we dont hide things and its been great it is not only about sex anymore either. sometimes we go for a month without having sex because talking sometimes is more important and sometimes more beneficial. its been great! hope this helps

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