A
female
age
51-59,
*ICHELLELEE
writes:Eleven years ago i married. we have three children (girls.) He was perfect.....a month after the marriage he changed. Stoped having sex stoped being a husband. drank very heavy. would get drunk pick fights... many years we fought over all this....All the while the kids would hear and be around all this....I tried hideing it all from everybody. But that didn't last long. Everyone seen right through it all. i really loved this man would put up with his drinkin ways because anybody knows you can't get through to a drunk.... many, many, many nights i cried myself tosleep. This past year things got very bad... We fought alot and the girls cought on to when thier daddy was drunk....i put my foot down and left him three months ago......it was the hardest thing i ever had to do... I had to pry my four year old off the furniture, but i left. Filed for divorce and caught alot of hell from his family and the most from his mother..... all the while i had meet a man i only dreamwed of..... He came out of nowhere.... he is the male of me. We fell in love right away.... We felt the same for one another, I have never new love could feel like this. Now my ex wants me back....... i feel my heart is with the new guy and i still love my ex. but don't know if i am in love with him.......What do i do? I can't stop crying and i can't decide who i should be with.....I am 37 and have never not been in control. What to do???
View related questions:
divorce, drunk, fell in love, my ex Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Hi
Control not really a reliable emotion and quite unstable, better to flow with the water and feel the lost feeling.
If you try to control your life too much you are not leaving room for the NATURAL. I do agree that you have done the right thing by taking control and leaving your ex, but now try to just follow your heart and let go.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Stay with the new guy ! You know what your ex is all about. He had his chances over and over and over again. Dont' stay for the kids. You wont be happy. You will stay and eventually you will cheat, b/c he wont' change. Move on !
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 October 2008): Its easy..why would you go back to someone who treats you so badly and makes you so miserable? Don't do it! I was married to an alcoholic, and you should know they'll make all kinds of promises, but they can't keep them because they can't stay away from the alcohol. Unless he cleans up his act, goes to AA, why would you want him? Think about your children! Do you really think your ex might change? If you love him that much and are willing to risk it, no one can stop you. But what if he can't/won't change? You might lose someone really good. Think it over sweetie..you know what they say "A leopard can't change his spots." I waited 6 years for my husband to change, heard every story you can imagine (Drunks can be such good liars and so convincing!), but he never changed. 5 years later after I left, he's still a drunk. I wish you the best, please think of your children as well as yourself. Yes, they deserve a dad, but they shouldn't grow up in an environment with a drunk!
...............................
|
