A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend lied. Now what? PLEASE help?Thursday I was with my boyfriend and I called him for our late night convo. But I remember him saying that he was going to have visitors and want get to talk to me tonight . I could hear that he was at a party (he picked up by accident) until the phone cut off.I decided to call his friend on private. Same background noise, I asked him where he is. They all started going on the defensive. "Naahh he left his phone at my house, that's why you heard all the noise"Okay. I said.I know what I heard, but I was just waiting.I called my boyfriend, no answer, i called him again like an hour later. He picked up. I said "I'll give you a chance to explain init"He was going on like he didn't know what I was talking about. Saying he's getting pissed off because I never believe him. That he's talking to me outside(I asked him why he was outside) because his dad isn't allowing him to speak on the phone.The next night after I cut the phone off on him because of the lies upon lies I'd heard.He called me. He admitted to me that he was lying. The reason he lied was because he knew that I'd feel uncomfortable. He knew he wouldn't go if I found a problem with it so he would choose not to go. But saying no to a friend and lying to me are two different things. So he basically choose his friends over me, right?He knew that I was finding it hard trusting him because he's done this before and let me FIND OUT. If he didn't pick up his phone by accident I wouldn't have known the wiser. Soo why did he promise that there wasn't anything I'd have to worry about. He promised he'd never hide anything from me again ( He lied to me before for the same friend!) He tried to say there are things he feels he can't tell me. But what's the difference. "I'm going to Dj for a friend" which he does nearly every weekend. So what is the point. And what was the point in promising me this if he knew there were STILL things he felt he could tell me.I think he was hiding something because it just weird how he lied to me at this time in particular. And the sad thing is that we had such a nice loving day. I mean, if I was planning to lie to him and I had such nice day. I'd have definitely broke down and told him. I said to him, right now. You need to prove yourself to me. I love him so much. We've been together for 4 years and he's got my name tattooed on his chest. He's taking me to spain for my birthday next week. I was thinking on whether I should just give up.Well, today, after I told him he needs to prove himself. I've not called and I've not heard a word from him AT ALL.Surely if you're truly sorry (Which he did say to me last night) wouldn't you be trying your best knowing you've still got a chance. AT LEAST try and call me or make it up to me.Instead I get nothing. So what now?
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reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2010): 16-17yrs old, Are you having sex with him?. Guys, especially young guys are really only looking for one thing unfortunately. If he is treating you like this and you are indulging his wants then he is a complete waste of time. If he is treating you like this, it may be because you aren't letting him have you, either way he doesn't seem worth your time. Remember you are worth more than his words and lies, find confidence in yourself to say, No, I'm worth more and move on. Giving yourself to guys like this will only hurt you in the end.
A
female
reader, crystal1818  +, writes (31 October 2010):
I've gone through the same thing with my husband. If i'm not comfortable with him doing something and he really wants to do it, he does and lies about it afterwards. I dont know if this is any help but what i started to do is things that he didnt approve of but I didn't lie about it. I told him up front what i was about to do and i asked him does he mind if i do it. Of course he says he dont want me to but i do it anyways then asks him how does it feel? Another thing i started to do was ask to party with him so i would'nt be thinking he's doing something else. Well im getting a divorce now because i realized that without trust u have nothing and you will continue to fight and argue untill you have trust in your partner and i will never trust him so im just leaving because he wont show me thats he cares enough to try to gain my trust.
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