A
female
age
36-40,
*rowto
writes:I just wrote this letter to my boyfreind. i'd like to know if what i wrote will seems like it will help him understand how i feel or if it is just confusing..here's what i wrote..I don't know how to start this letter.....here...how about this....We've been together for exactly 2 years 4 months and 12 days. Every second that I've been with you, every minute, every hour, every day...I've grown to love you more and more. I've spent every day tryin to find ways to make you happy with me. I wanted everything between us to be perfect. The more time that we spent together and the more I got to know you, the more I realized how much I love you. I then knew that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanted to get married and have kids and grow together. I never thought that I'd be here now, writing you this letter, and feeling so confused about everything. I have always told you how I feel. Pretty much at every moment that I had even the most meaningless feeling. I loved telling you everything because you were willing to listen and you cared. Now I sit here with so many feelings running through my mind and through my heart. I'd give anything to just call you and tell you exactly how I feel...if only I could get it all into words. I'm not even sure how exactly I'm going to put it in this letter but I'm going to try. I trusted you....I never trusted anyone. I even had a hard time trusting people in my family....but you....i trusted you. I let my guard down completely...and handed over my heart to you. You said you loved me and that you'd love me forever. I still believe that in a way....but not like I used to believe it. I'm so confused on how you can sit next to me and tell me that your hearts not all in this relationship. My heart has been in it....since...i'm not sure exactly when because it feels like it's been in it since the day I met you. You developed feelings for someone else in a matter of days that shook the feelings that you developed for me over years. I'm so completely hurt and just confused by this that I dont' know what to do.I don't know how to act....I just want to find ways to keep you. But at the same time...I do not want to let myself be hurt....so I feel like I should leave. Trust me, that is the last thing I want to do. But right now I'm laying in my bed on new years eve and I think back and you have only spent one new years eve with me since we've been together (if even that). I'd spend every significant moment I could with you. I'd want to remember every important day as a day I spent with you. But you.....you'd rather spend it with pretty much anyone else. Or at least that's the way it seems to me.I've always known that the only person I could rely on was myself. But then I met you....you made me feel like I could rely on you too. I've been let down though....I'm back to feeling like I can only rely on myself. Even what I've written so far doesn't feel like it really explains the way I'm feeling. You were truely everything to me. My best freind, my boyfreind....it makes me feel sick because I'm afraid to lose the feelings that I have for you. You haven't really been there for me....you told me that after all this stuff that's been going on that you owed me alot. But...you haven't acted like you want to make anything up to me. You act like ur still gonna do whatever you want to do, when you want to do it, and without consideration for my feelings. You act like you are considering my feelings...you say sorry alot...but you never actually show me that you care about my feelings, you never show me that you are sorry. instead....i just sit alone and cry because i don't understand what happened. I don't understand why i dont' seem worth the effort to you. i dont' understand why i have to text you so many times and call you so many times before i get any response. and then you act like nothings wrong...you act like everything is fine. i'm always right there when you need me...i'm always available when you call. i always call you back as soon as i can. i've been so much for you...and i've tried so hard to be everything i can for you. i'm so torn....i just wish you could understand what i'm feeling. i don't even know if you are ever going to check ur e-mail and find this....but i just had to try and tell you how i feel. i wouldn't feel right if i didn't. since i've always told you everything. i love you and i always will...i wish i knew what to do.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): You are a gem.He doesn't deserve you in the least.
A
male
reader, moony  +, writes (1 January 2009):
i don't know who you are or what went wrong in your relationship but i can surely tell you love him to the extreme if he cant love a girl like you , he can never love anyone..this letter truly touched my heart..i wish he understands you..you can always message for help..best of luck
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A
male
reader, roadman  +, writes (1 January 2009):
 Best to make the letters shorter to much data can be a bit much to understand at once to get through to the person in question,keep it short and sweet and direct to the point,I find this helps.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 January 2009): you seem a very intelligent girl, and its easy for me to say move on and forget him, in relaity that is very hard to do, u feel like ur world is falling apart. I wish i could help you. I f he doesnt come and at least talk to you about that letter then he really isnt worth having, u have poured ur heart into that letter, almost had me in tears. I wish u all the luck in the world xox
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