A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, am a 25 year old arab lady and ive been in a long distance relationship for like 8 years now. I love this guy and we use to have it all clear that marriage is the goal. he recently said that marrige is not possible until 4 more years. he is always travelling and i know he can afford it so its not about money. I dont want to sound like a total bimbo but I really do love him! im scared that if I let him go then I will end up with an arranged marriage with some stranger I barely know. should I leave him and risk it ? or stay and bare it
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 January 2018):
 How often do you both see each other? I can give you better advice once I know the answer to this.
A
male
reader, N91  +, writes (28 January 2018):
 Really?
You've wasted 8 years on this guy, are you going to waste 4 more? You could be in a happy relationship with someone that you could actually see on a daily basis and you know, have a relationship with them.
Sounds like this guy is stringing you along, if he wanted to marry you then surely he would of done it already in 8 years don't you think?
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A
female
reader, 02DuszJ +, writes (28 January 2018):
 In eight years of knowing you, being long distance hasn't he had enough time to sew his oats/ go jet setting? How often do you actually see each other on average? Because that's WAY overdue to still be long distance! And if you're sitting in front of a screen, he can SAY whatever he wants, words are cheap.. have you ACTUALLY spent extended period of time with him? say living for a week? Because otherwise this guy does not seem to be exactly what he says he is on the tin
The point is anyway if he wants to go travelling and you don't your aspirations don't match. That's not an excuse he had enough time! Maybe it's even the case that he kept himself free for you and now he's decided he wants to just live the single life! Four years is unreasonable on top of the eight and I would not want to stick around and put my life on hold for a guy that doesn't seem to want to sacrifice ANYTHING for me and is happy having distance for 12 years! I call complete BS. How can that be love on his part?
My instinct says he's a waste of time. What dies your gut truly say? That's the answer.
ANd seriously? Travelling? Shouldn't he be thinking about progressing a career to PROVIDE for his future wife and kids? Look at the facts.
You said what this is about really.. an escape from an arranged marriage. Well I think you should talk to your parents and tell them how scared and trapped you feel. My best friends are muslim and one was just married by an arranged marriage- they actually fell in love after they were engaged. However they were able to sit down together and get to know each other a bit before- there are many rituals as I understand where you CAN say no if the guy's not for you. I don't know if your parents are the very strict type but if you don't like the guy and they try and force you to marry him, don't do it. Tell them he is NOT for you. If they really force you into something it may be better to leave even.
I wish you the best of luck, let us know how it goes x
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A
male
reader, TylerSage  +, writes (28 January 2018):
 Waiting is really up to you. But you can't be too surprised if 2 years down the line this guy gives you a call saying that he found the woman of his dreams in Canada and would love if you came to the wedding.
Many men can be the biggest of jerks. Plus the fact that you have a long distance relationship can easily put a strain on it. You need to put your needs into perspective as well, not only his.
It comes down to the qualities you think this man has that are worth the wait. Not just looks or how much he makes you laugh. Make sure he has substance.
All the best.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 January 2018): I guess the question is how often do you see each other and how many days are you physically together. I guess if you see each other every month for 2 weeks each time, then it might work.. but if you see each other twice a year for one week each visit, then I suggest not to hold your breath.
You've given him 8 years of your youth.. is it worth it to hold off for another 4 years?
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