A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My girlfriend and I have not long been together. At first, everything was perfect, we had loads of fun, always saw each other and one night (only been seeing each other for a few months) she tells me she loves me. I must admit i felt the same.Anyway, her job requires her to work a lot and so we spend as much time together as possible. However, she recently transferred to another office and since then things have changed. She barely communicates with me during the day anymore (which she used to a lot) and barely has time for me. When she does see me she claims to be tired and wants to sleep. We've gone from having sex nearly everyday to not having had sex in over 2 weeks (and that took just 4 weeks for that change to happen)This 'sex ban' seems to have started 2 weeks ago when, after a nice dinner and a movie, we were driving to meet some friends, i noticed that while i was driving she was constantly texting some guy that she works with. The texts continued for the entire journey. I saw some texts saying that she was going to be spending the following day with him at his place watching films. I asked her about it and she just threw her phone at me and said read all you like then turned over and went to sleep.The following day I asked her if anything was going on and she refused to talk to me. Now, strangely she has passworded her phone (never done that before) and yesterday whilst she sat in front of me she wanted to show me a text from a friend. Before she handed me her phone i saw her delete all messages from this guy from work.... I'm suspicious because she apparently spends all day with this guy and texts him whilst working in the same office. She tells me she loves me and that she would never cheat.....but should i be suspicious? I'm going crazy trying to find out. Or should i just believe her when she says it's nothing and assume they're texting because they're talking about someone in the office? is it just innocent flirting????
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): Listen it better you both be adults and just talk about it. Approach in a calm and civilized manner with your concerns, don't let it get into a slanging match, don't accuse her of anything, just say you notice she's not spending as much time as she used to and doesn't seem to be giving you the attention she used to, you know what it could be the stress of the job and this guy may just be the only person she connected with, a work buddy, since she spends alot of time there it's only natural some sort of bond is formed but when it's crossing over to your personal lives, where you're not feeling 100% confident because you noticed these changes, her texting this guy and hanging out together, putting a password on her phone is not exactly screaming out everything is alright. Either she is open about what is going on, no passwords on phones etc or you say good bye I will not be treated like this, but do you have the will be to actually break up with her? Otherwise the threat carries no weight, it also depends on how much she truly wants to be with you. Be assertive, be strong, fight your corner. Good luck.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): Just watch out on here. She could just be stringing you along till she firms up with the other guy.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (5 March 2011): Tell her to either stop communicating with this guy or you have to break up. I think she's sending you a message that she doesn't love you and would rather be with him. You need to stick up for yourself. If it was me i would dump the bitch this minute.
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A
male
reader, Capri2  +, writes (5 March 2011):
I'm sorry, if there were nothing to worry about, there would be no reason to delete messages or lock the phone. Of course she has the right to her privacy. But left alone the phone, her change about sex and the rest of things you wrote about it. It's really suspicious, maybe she isn't cheating on you physically but there something going on with that guy. And she is hiding it from you or she is denying itself.
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