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male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes: Good news, I got a girl I will be potentially going out with. Bad news, I have no idea what to do now?I have no previous dating experience which is a bit sad at this age, I know. I suppose the first date could be as simple as a movie and dinner or grabbing a cup of coffee.It's about keeping things interesting for the both of us which scares me. Getting a girl interested you is one thing, but I have always been afraid of not being able to keep the flow going after that. I'm glad I finally got passed the first step, but I just don't know where to go from here. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): Hi there. First of all, it's not sad at all. You're still really young, and there are people older than you who really have no idea what they're doing, lol. Which is okay and actually normal. Anyway. I think as long as you are yourself and you make YOURSELF comfortable, and you put in the effort, you really can't go wrong. Seriously. When you put in the effort, it shows, and a woman who is serious about you, too, will notice and appreciate it however the actual date works out. Which is why it's important that you are true to yourself and are comfortable, or else it will be very difficult to keep up any charades. Find out what her interests are and take it from there. If she has the same interests as you, great! If they are a little different, do something she likes to do (putting in the effort) but also bring her into your world and show her what you like to do, too! Sharing can be fun and great. Take the time to get to know each other and most importantly, have fun!Good luck :)
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 August 2011): Odds, very nicely done!
Thank you for being a gentleman and giving sound advice.
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A
male
reader, Odds  +, writes (11 August 2011):
 Congrats on getting past the first step!
The most important thing here is attitude. You have to be willing to accept that things may not work out, and the important thing is not to say the "right" things to keep her, but to say the things you mean so that if you're a good pair, you keep her, and if you're a bad pair, you filter her out early. I know how difficult that is for a first date, so if you can't quite manage that attitude, don't sweat it.
As for the date itself, keep it short and low-key. Dinner is probably not the way to go. Try meeting for coffee, in a part of town that is decent for walking, but not too close to your house. Have a magazine or newspaper that you can read if she wants to be late and throw away when you lave; bonus points if it gives you something to talk about. Sit and enjoy the drink with her, speak and gesture slowly. After about fifteen or twenty minutes, leave the coffee shop to go for a nice walk (reminder: a gentleman always walks between the woman and the curb). If you can, stop in one or two more places (novelty shops or wine-tasting places are ideal, but not every town or city has one, so use your imagination and plan ahead). When you get back to the coffee shop, tell her you had a good time and part ways. Keep it short - an hour, hour and a half is probably about right, but no worrie sif it is longer or shorter. Call her the next day to tell her you had fun and set up date 2.
Now, preferably you get physical early on - by which I mean hugging her when she shows up, touching her arm or leg at the coffee shop, holding hands on the street, and kissing her around the 2/3rd mark (ideally). But it's more important that the two of you be comfortable and having fun than that you meet some perfect deadline; go with the flow, and your own comfort zone is more important than any pre-planned advice when it comes to touch.
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