A
female
age
41-50,
*ootyboot
writes:has anyone ever gotten back an ex?How did you do it?I'm trying to win a guy back that moved to another city and didn't want long distance. we are still friendly, but he is dating other people. I'm going to move to his city now for work and want to rekindle what we had, any tips?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 April 2010): I guess I am an appropriate person to answer the question because just recently in my life a few boys from my past have been trying to get back with me. First off, you need to be realistic about what this guy thinks of you. Its not even a matter of whether you want to be with eachother or not. But simply what does he think of you as a woman, friend, lover, person, etc?? Does he have alot of respect for you?? Does he LOVE you?? Are his memories with you amazing?? His opinion of you is a huge telling in whether something can be rekindled in the future. (I noticed that the boys who were trying to get back with me seemed to have in common that they think I am a great girl and have really great memories with me and of me and they seem to volunteer this information without me asking, and above all they make no secret that they love me and always have.) If you don't really know how he feels or what he thinks of you as a person, or that he even loves and cares about you, then he might not be the right guy. You wouldn't want to be pursuing someone who doesn't have a super high opinion of you or doesn't think you are as great as he should think because then that would mean you are chasing the wrong person and that would be a waste of your time. Also, sometimes people can have high opinions of each other, can always secretly be in love but the timing is wrong. Be it because of distance, or immaturity, the need to grow up a bit more, not realising how you feel about that person because you haven't explored (seen what's out there). Who knows? There is a myriad of reasons. One thing for sure, love is "letting go." If the love between you both is genuine, you will let him go and be happy for him whatever he is doing. That is exactly how it happened with these boys that are back in my life. There is no spite, our "break-ups" have always been clean, mutual, respectful. They were above everything else, MY FRIENDS. And when you can have this type of relationship with a boy, romantic as well as platonic, then your chances increase that he will want you in the future. That's how I see it. Oh also RESPECT. If the man has alot of respect for you, chances are he will always love you. And give him his space. Its ok if you want to tell him how you feel, but if he doesn't give you the response you are looking for, let him be. Sometimes men need time to think things over. Tell him how you feel and then let him come around. Do not bully him or pressure him or act pathetic and lose any dignity to get him back. That is a sure way to LOSE HIM altogether.
A
female
reader, sugarplum786  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 I would let him know i am in town but would let him propose a meeting/date. If not forthcoming will continue life with other friends and maybe something would develop or alternately he would realise he wants you back. Do not chase him as he might think you changed jobs, places and you are now stalking him. Have you heard theg saying if you love someone set them free if they come back they were always yours.If they dont they never were yours in the first place.
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A
female
reader, rambini  +, writes (13 April 2010):
 you can try to get him back, but the fact he is dating other people means he may have moved on from what you had and sometimes however good it was, people dont want to go back. so i think you need to prepare yourself for this possibility. however if you want to try, you should not be too pushy, just start spending time with him once you move, and see wht happens. there are no magical ways of winning someone back. and also if he didnt think the relationship was worth working at long distance, it may be that he had other issues with the relationship which meant he didnt think it was right.
best of luck, i hope it works out for you x
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