A
female
age
30-35,
*urplebutterfly
writes:Hi, I don't do this much but I have no one to talk to. Just over a year ago I met a man. I don't believe in love at first sight but I was instantly attached to him. After a few short encounters I got to know him better and found out he was twice my age (I was 21) and had kids (no wife). In my mind he was the man I wanted to marry but I knew it would never be just because of the age differences and complications involved with that.. The first time we had coffe we sat and talked for hours and hours and it happened like that every week until the time came that we couldnt bear to be apart. After six amazing months it ended like I knew it would. It was very sudden and we didn't talk about it at all. Iv had no contact with him since then but a birthday card saying that he only wishes for me to be happy and he wants me to live life with the knowledge that someone loves me. I know that what we had was real even though I knew it had to end. And I know he wasn't lying to me (He was such a gentleman). Its been over 10 months since we parted and I just can't move on.. Iv been as strong as I can but I feel as though I'd break at any moment. I don't know if I just need more time to heal or if I just need a really good cry. I would really appreciate any positive advice from someone who's been through this before. Thank you x
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (15 September 2012): Hi, I work full time and I go to school full time. Today after work I had school, in taking evening class, and I'm sitting I. This class in the first row pretending as if I'm listening to the prof, but the whole time during class I was thinking of him. He has a daughter, also he is married, and he is 19 years older then, the worst part if my story is we work together....the same as you I have no one to talk to, to take the pain of my chest....i understand that it's wrong, I understand that I can't date married man, but without realIzing it I falled in love with him....it's been three weeks that we are not together. I thought its time for us to be apart....but I miss him, miss him so much. I miss when he kisses me while driving a car, I miss when calms me down, I miss when he makes me laugh....but all this hurts me so much. It hurts that e doesn't call, or doesnt pick up my call. But I can't stop myself thinking off him.....I can relate in some ways...,feels like its killing me from inside, and I can't talk to anyone about it. I wish I could give you some answer, but .....hope things will turn In a better way for you
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (25 August 2012):
 why did you break up?
if the ONLY reason you aren't together is age that's BS... you are both over 18 and men can father children long past women being able to bear them (normally my big concern in age gap relationships with a young partner)
I'm not getting the whole story here... more detail please?
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (25 August 2012):
 The only detail that seems to be missing from your submittal is: Were you and he intimate (had s*x) during those "amazing six months?" Your reply?
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A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (25 August 2012):
 How could he just break up with no explanation? Nothing you said told me why he broke up with you. Why could you not have an explanation of why the relationship had to break up. You speak as if it was inevitable
How were things inevitable that you had to break up? Did his children object? Were his children concerned about their future inheritance?
Once a little more information is forthcoming a more viable answer may be possible.
And why were you not able to talk things through about how you feel. If these feelings of feeling overwhelmed start to become a big problem please contact beyondblue.com.au
or Lifeline 131114 or Samaritans.org I chose these links due to the Flag you chose. My Good wishes to you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2012): Hey there (:
I first want to ask if you have talked to him about these feelings? Also what was the reasoning for the breakup? Maybe what you are looking for is closure. If you really want something you fight for it, for any case. Go find out yourself. Good luck and I hope you find what you're looking for!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (25 August 2012): Most people have had the 'relationship that could never be' - and it is that very fact that makes it difficult to move on. Because what you had never developed into a fully functioning relationship with all that comes with it, you are left with the lovely glow of something that never really can to anything more. Try and accept that. If the relationship had continued you would have found life more complicated - an big age gap, kids from a previous relationship and therefore an ex somewhere lurking in the background. You had something special, be grateful for that and put it in the past.
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