A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:So there's this guy....we've been having sex lately and I REALLY like it. I mean I know he doesn't care about me like emotionally and I dont care about him like that either. But the sex is really good.....until I found out the next day he had sex with someone else... I was actually kind of hurt by this, I can't help it I'm jealous..I feel used like I'm just an object. Plus the girl he did it with is really gets around if you know what I mean. What should I do? Should I keep having sex with him or should I just stop?
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (24 April 2013):
 You ARE being used honey. BUT you allowed it. AND you are enjoying it and you agreed to it. AND while you SAY you don’t’ care about him emotionally the fact that you are jealous belies that statement totally. So you are lying to yourself.
He’s using you for sex. And you are using him right back. Sadly for many people and mostly for women, having sex involves emotions and that means if you have sex with a boy and you like him you will want more than just sex and he’s not up for that.
I would strongly recommend you stop having sex with him and not have sex with anyone till you are sure they are with you for you as a person and not just sex. I would also take yourself to the GYN and get an exam. Make sure you are on proper Birth Control, get tested for STDs since you have been exposed. If you are clear make sure you get the HPV shots… and always always always make the guy wear a condom till you are in a long term permanent relationship. My doctor insists on condoms for anyone who is NOT MARRIED… when my husband and I were living together and totally monogamous my doctor still insisted on STD testing for us. (she is a very wise doctor)
A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 April 2013): "I feel used like I'm just an object"
Why would you feel used? You "REALLY" like the sex so what's the problem? He can sleep with whomever he chooses because you're not in a relationship.
"I dont care about him like that either."
So what's the problem OP, if you don't care why are you jealous? You don#t get to keep him all to yourself, and he is going to keep sleeping around if you don't like that then stop sleeping with him.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (24 April 2013):
 You care enough to get jealous. Maybe you aren't as cool and detached about it as you seem to think you are.
You now know that he is sexually active with other sexually active people. One of the things the people who advise on safe sex say is that you are exposed to all the STDs of your partner's previous and current sex partners.
If it bothers you this much, probably a sign that you're a bit more invested that you think. End it and please be sure you are up-to-date at the gynecologist's office. HPV and other viruses are pretty easily spread through oral sex and unprotected genital sex. Actually, HPV is linked to this really big increase in oral cancers…. not very nice to think about, but there you are, if you have oral sex without a condom you may see a higher risk of oral cancer.
If you feel you are being used at an object, well, you probably are not exactly the top of his favorite people list. Sorry.
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A
female
reader, Xx-Scorpio-xX  +, writes (24 April 2013):
 You should stop. I'm sorry you feel like this, but friends with benefits only work as an act where no feelings are involved at all. You clearly feel something towards him as you're jealous. Friends with benefits aren't necessarily exclusive, and the people usually just see each other as sexual 'objects'. Feelings can't be involved otherwise it'd be a relationship. Unless you'd told each other that you were fully exclusive then that might be a problem. If you carry on just having sex with him, you'll probably set yourself up for more pain.
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