A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I'm 16 years old, I am very mature for my age. My boyfriend is 20 and he's been after me for 6 months, in the end I gave up and started to date him. The thing is, I still see him as a friend and when he tries to do coupley things I get annoyed. I know the obvious answer is that I shouldn't have gone out with him in the first place and that I should go back to being just friends but I've read enough Mills and Boon books to know that "love" doesn't actually exsist and I'm never gonna truly fall in love, like how they describe it in M and B.So either I break up with him and become lonely or I stay with him in a satisfactory relationship where I'll get annoyed and stressed but at least it's something closer to "love" that being on my own.Someone's opinion on my logic would be helpful? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): I also agree that it's a little early to declare an opinion about life & love.
As for maturity, I've never known a 16yo girl in my life that didn't think she was mature for her age. I really can't think of one.
Could you be intelligent for your age? Yes.
Well-read for your age? Yes.
More interested in "grownup" things for your age? Yes.
But none of those things reflect any high amount of real emotional maturity. It's a whole different sport.
This is important because the ability to learn from examples of others is not enough. Relationships cause visceral (and often subconscious) feelings that will make people indirectly arrange things to cause an outcome that is, well, "immature."
The point is not that you might do something stupid. The point is that you're vulnerable to doing things subconsciously that will eventually add up to "stupid" to an outsider looking at you.
Getting into a relationship with someone well outside your age bracket? That you don't really even seem attracted to sexually? Check, sign of trouble.
One sign of actual relationship maturity would be never being willing to get into this one. It sounds like it's pre-setup for failure from the outset.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 March 2009): Well I think your logic is flawed, but you are after all a 16-17 year old girl so I'm not surprised :)
How about waiting for the rest of your life to happen before you so confidently decide that you won't fall in love? And then, when you're 35, still lonely and never been in love, find some nice mediocre guy and settle down.
But jeez, what do you expect? Why not take the opportunity to learn some things about yourself, and about men and relationships, and perhaps if you want kick up your sexual experience a little?
Girls who wait around for their princes to come are deluded, and usually always dissatisfied with whatever they have at the moment. And, by the way, "love" does exist, and one day you will be mature enough to understand it, and hopefully have a solid, adult relationship with someone who reciprocates. Good luck!
...............................
|
