A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm 34, and while it's taken me some time to accept I'm attracted to men as well as women, I've no clue how to approach gay dating or meeting single men.I don't have anyone to introduce me, and know nothing about this area.I'm attracted to either "bear"-type men or men of Indian/Chinese descent (but it's not a race fetish, just who I'm into).Is it good/bad I want a committed relationship and not having a partner who sleeps with other men on the side or wanting to be that way (even though some relationships allow it)?What to research online is the problem; I don't know where to start.I also have a possibly stupid worry I'll be not gay enough for some men, not straight enough for some women.Any help is appreciated. Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (3 November 2020):
 "I also have a possibly stupid worry I'll be not gay enough for some men, not straight enough for some women."
You are not going to appeal to EVERY gay man, nor every straight woman. JUST like, YOU have preferences so does most others.
So you might as well let THAT worry go.
I think it's FAIR enough of you to not want a casual partner or a partner that is not faithful or monogamous. Will that make it harder to FIND a partner? Sure, having standards ALWAYS makes thing a little harder in the dating World, because there are so many who don't have any.
As for where to meet single gay men looking for a serious relationship, I can't begin to tell you. I don't know. But I DO think apps like Grindr/Tindr are the absolute WRONG place. I think most people using those ARE just looking for something casual or hook ups.
Maybe start by creating a social network? With volunteering, hobbies, organizations, sports - just meeting new people. Of course with the Covid that can be a little trickier.
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