A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:We broke up about 6 months ago and we go to the same uni.Basically he strung me along in the summer asking for a break but ultimately i broke up with him and he accepted without a fight.I cut contact with him and pass him almost everyday in the street as we live literally four doors down without a word.However, he is now resulting to trying to introduce himself as '*my names* ex* to my housemates when during the time we were actually a couple; he made no effort whatsoever with my friends and was rather quiet about our relationship. He apparently calls them over and has introduced himself (they didnt even know who he was), keeps asking how I am and mentions me over and over again to them. To the point where one of my housemates actually avoids him when he sees him.Why is he doing this? He has done this twice this week more recently and even sent me a 'hey' msg at 3am on thursday. I'm starting to get irritated because I have moved on and he gets brought up a lot because of his behaviour.
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female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (19 October 2015):
 IGNORE HIM.
block him on the phone and in email and on social media.
let your friends and housemates know that he's NOT a topic for conversation and you don't care to hear anything about him.
HOW they deal with him is their choice.
WHY is he doing it.... probably because he's horny and figures it's easier to get back with an old partner for a bit of FWB than make an effort to find a new partner.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2015): he's hopping for a reconciliation and by making a point of ingratiating himself with your housemates he is keeping tabs on you.
Also he gets to download on them a lot.
Are there any females in your houseshare? He may be wanting to replace you with one of them and apart from renewed coupledom he will also get greater access to your house/homeshare.
Was the close living together arrangement what you planned as a couple?
How would you expect to normally interact with fellow students four doors down?
Have either you or him developed new partners?
Now is the time to reassess and figure out what kind of friends you intend to be.
If you are sure that the flame has well and trully extinguished and you would be quite ok with him with someone else and you have no desire to get back in bed together you two could meet in a cafe and have a little chat about the manner you intend to conduct yourselves.
If you secretly would love to dress up (or down ) and end up back in each others beds again then you are well within your rights to reinitiate it on an all is forgiven basis and start plannng your parties together for xmas.
Would you normally expect an invite to their xmas house party?
And would your house normally do the same?
Just how many street parties are you expecting to go to in your little area alone for winter and xmas...or red wine and pie sessions?
It seems to me that your paths are inevitably going to cross socially sooner or later so figure out where you want these accounts to take you.
To the depths of mortification...i hope not!
To casual attraction? ....perhaps not!
To an intense and fierce desire to recommunicate...who knows?
To finding out he's sniffing round your housemates....again,who knows.
Or does he want to rekindle your previous connection?
University is a very versatile,anything goes enviroment,where hard and fast rules of social interaction tend to go out of the window as the parties warm up and chill down,so in effect anything can happen.
Very few people bat an eyelid at much that goes on so be prepared for that aspect too.
But your future is yours and it is totally your discretion how you handle all forthcoming events and what you want for your future,why you want it and what you also dont want are also important things for you to consider.
He will probabky carry on calling himself your ex whether you ask him to or not ..but the ball is in your court regarding how you behave.
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A
female
reader, Honeypie +, writes (19 October 2015):
 I'd tell him that he needs to quit, and leave your friends be. After that? I'd block his number, he has no reason to text you at 3am.
And DO yourself a favor and tell your friends/housemates that they can FEEL free to ignore him.
My guess is he is doing this in hopes to "remind" you of his existence, preventing you from moving on. He is TRYING to keep stringing you along. Or he simply doesn't like the fact that YOU broke up with him and moved on. Either reason is irrelevant though, who cares?! He is acting like a creeper.
Now whether he will actually STOP or not, IS not within your control. You can TELL him to back off, but you can't "make" him back off. All you can control is how you react to it. My advice? IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE.
Right now he is trying to get under your skin. Don't let him. Maybe he even thinks that he is "fighting" for your attention.
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A
female
reader, Ivyblue  +, writes (19 October 2015):
 Doesn't really matter why he is doing it, the point is he is and it's annoying you. Time to pull him aside and have a quiet word. Just let him know that you don't appreciate being txt at 3am and that your pissed of to think that you'd should be ok with that and if you are going to be introducing yourself to people to please leave you out off it.
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