| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: hi all, I seem to have made a real mess of my life and need serious advice on how to fix it as there is so much going on in my head i dont know where to start. I have been in a 12 year mentally abusive relationship, or so im told by people looking into my life, i am in two minds i thought it was at one point but i dont know whats what now. i have no confidence, i hate making conversation and enjoy my own company, this is not me. i cant make a decision about this man i love him but dont want him to touch me i cringe when he tries to kiss me i dont want to spend time with him, i want to be able to do these things but for love nor money i just cant, the thought of him being with someone else hurts me and im so frustrated and angy that the feelings are not there. I am desperate for another baby and want to be happy with someone i can feel 100% relaxed with but i cant move on he says he loves me but i dont feel it from him when he hugs and kisses me. he controled alot of my life and now i hate making plans i like to please myself and find it difficult being at work because i crave freedom i feel lonely and love to be hugged i want someone special and dont want to waste anymore of my life pls can anyone offer constructive advice and if anyone knows any contact numbers where i could speak to someone i would be grateful thanks xx
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 May 2009): Hi there.You remind me someone. She is very similar like you.I feel sorry that you are having bad time.In my opinion, you can't be close with him because you been through hard time in relationship. You are worried if you will go through the same thing again.He controlled your life a lot which pushes you away. From his view, he might love you very much that he can't afford to lose you, which lead him doing things which is not that right.I been the same side as him before. I asked a lot about her day. I want to know how is she so that if she is sad, I can try to cheer her up. Unfortunately, she end up saying, I don't own her that she doesn't need to report to me and she at her age, knows how to take care of herself. She is around your age.I don't know how he controlled you but I am telling you my story so that you might be able to see from another side.As for you, you don't like being controlled and I guess, you simply happy with little good thing in relationship.See from his action, to know if he truly love you. If he does, take your time to accept him. Make some changes else you might lose him.Did he know you have a baby? If he doesn't, you might be able to risk it by telling him. If he love you, he will love your baby.You two are much lucky than me.I am living so far from her and text like this and some voices are what keep us together. Unfortunately, it is fading away.I hope it helps :)
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