A
female
age
30-35,
*reetobexoxo
writes:my best friend dated this guy for 6 months and I don't know how they lasted that long because she didn't treat him the way he shouldve. when they broke up they both got over it within a week. he late told me that he had liked me all year even when he was dating my best friend. at first I didn't even know what to do so I didn't say anything and I pretended it didn't happpen. the next day my best friend found out and was really mad so I assured her I didn't like him because I didn't and I knew I couldn't do that to her. after another few days of talking to him lots, I realized I really did like him. my best friend found out and over reacted and said some really nasty things to me. I apologized to her and told her I couldn't do that to her, and eventually got really frustrated because she was just being rude. I was never going to date him but I really liked him and we were so good together and also my friend was just being rude. I let him ask me out and we started dating. me and my friend stopped talking and she absolutely bullied me and made me upset so many times I just decided to forget her. me and him have dated for almost 2 months and now got in huge fights and we need to break up because I found out that he was being an awful person behind my back . I know that being without him is so hard because I no longer have my best friend or my boyfriend. I feel like everything is just falling apart. help! where do I go from here in my life and get back on track? I just want to move on. :(
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female
reader, QuirkLady  +, writes (20 August 2009):
 I guess you've never heard of "chicks before dicks".
It is almost never a good idea to date a friend's ex. Too many feelings are going around and someone usually ends up getting hurt. On top of that you lied to her saying you didn't like him and wouldn't go there but you ended up dating him later! Harsh! You should have stayed away from him since you knew that the thought of you two dating really upset her. I bet that she was really hurt and that's why she said all those things to you - not to excuse it, but that's why.
Break up with him, then apologize to your friend for what you did. She may not accept it, but at least you tried. And the next time, remember men come and go but best friends are hard to find.
A
female
reader, Pepper84 +, writes (20 August 2009):
 You're in the 13-15 age rage, and I feel like this is pretty common with young ladies. Your friend dated this guy for 6 months, but I feel like even if it was for a week she would've reacted the same way. I think she overreacted after finding out that her ex was into you, even after you reassured her that you wouldn't betray her in that way. I'm guessing that because of how she treated you, it made it easier for you to follow your own feelings and date this guy. It's a fine line when it comes to dating someone that a friend has already been with. I think it really comes down to how long they were together and how serious the relationship was, and also how close the two of you are. Usually I'd say, a guy is never worth ruining a friendship over. It sounds like in this case, the friend wasn't that great to begin with. For now I think the best thing to do is to simply move on. If you and your friend are able to work things out then great, but if not I'm sure you have other friends, and you certainly will make more throughout your life. For the future, be very careful when it comes to a friend's ex, you really need to weigh the pros and cons and figure out what's important to you; your friendship, or a guy?
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