A
female
age
30-35,
*avenderStreak
writes:I had a best friend, who eventually became my lover. I never knew we were just friends with benefits, but when i found out i was crushed. When i told him how i really felt towards him, we started to go out and i loved him dearly. We broke up twice, and after the second time, i was finished and wanted to move on. And i somewhat did, with his friend. I knew he wouldn't mind, but the problem was, his friend wasn't single, and was dating a friend of mine. We all hang out in a group so officially she is my friend too. The thing was, he cheated with me, and i cheated with him. Eventually, she found out he was cheating but she forgave us. And we became really good and better friends. Her boyfriend and me vowed to tell no one that we had sex though twice and that it never happened, because it would be the best. My ex found out that we were cheating (but not the sex), and he told me how he felt towards me and said he didn't want anyone taking me away and he said we would go out again. He asked if we did anything and i lied and said no because i was so ashamed and didn't want him mad. Before we could even go out again, a while later, everything goes WRONG and horrible. While she is out of town, my friends boyfriend tells her we had sex and everyone knows now. The boy i truely love, my ex, can hardly look at me and is so mad i lied to him and i hurt our friend twice, by the cheating and then the sex. I want her forgivness and her to understand even though she cant trust me anymore, i was wrong and i just want her forgivness. I text her but she isn't replying and my ex told me she wouldn't and don't even try. He is so ashamed of me and angry, he can't even look at me. It seems to be the only way to have the one i love to accept me, is by having her forgive me. And have her talk to me too. Im aware i was so wrong and done her horrible. And i look like a whore and I probably am now since i let it happen knowing they were together. I just want my ex and her to forgive me and not to lose all my friends from this. Please, im so low and desperate. i need help.
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best friend, broke up, crush, friend with benefits, move on, my ex, text Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 May 2009): you have really done the worst thing any friend could do. and you are now paying for your despicable actions. you lied, you betrayed your friends and ex. you hid the truth and you acted all innocent. well now that the truth is out you need to accept responsibility.
you want your friends forgiveness so that you can feel good about yourself. you did not give a shit for the friend when you were f*cking her bf. you enjoyed it and repeated it, and then to compound your behaviour you lied.
you need to take stock of your life and your behaviour.. you will carry this destructiveness into your adult life if you do not becareful.
i think you have caused too many people too much of pain. it's time to close your legs and have more respect for yourself and your so called friends.
you found out the hard way about what betrayal can do in a relationship. you broke their trust and compounded your sordid behaviour with more lies. you let sex define who and what you are. friendship and trust is something earned
A
male
reader, StudentOfLife  +, writes (12 May 2009):
 Jim Rohn said "You cannot choose how long you will live, but you can choose how well you will live."
If you would to die today, what would your friends say of you at your funeral? If you don't like the answer, know that life is about choosing how you'll be remembered, and it starts now.
You can't force someone to forgive you, you can only hope they will and move on.
Life's lesson will repeat themselves until they're learned.
...............................
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