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I've just come out as a lesbian and am not sure how to go about dating

Tagged as: Dating, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (16 January 2016) 5 Answers - (Newest, 18 January 2016)
A female Canada age 36-40, *adlesbian writes:

I am a lesbian and I have just come out. I'm trying to find someone but I don't know how. There is multiple parts you this question:

A) Is it okay to flirt and get someones number when they are working?

For example if you meet somebody in their job like a waitress for example.

B) If I find someone attractive, how do I go about flirting? What other things I could say to flirt with someone?

C) How do I go about getting someones number? Do I flirt first and then just ask her for her number? How do I get a girls phone number?

D) How can I tell if a girl is being just nice and friendly or really interested in me? Is there a way to tell if someone is interested in me or just being friendly?

I'm a badlesbian, hence my username.

If you can help me improve on how to be a better lesbian, Please Help. Thank you.

View related questions: flirt, lesbian

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A male reader, Been there Now over it United States +, writes (18 January 2016):

If you look/dress like a lesbian and a woman pays you special attention, then she is probably interested in dating you. If you look like a hetero girl, she most likely doesn't know you are a lesbian and she is just being nice.

The same rules for getting dates applies to lesbians as well as hetero folks. There may be an added rule here, that you should seriously reconsider going out with a woman if she believes you are hetero and just looking for a friend. If you see someone you like, it is best to start any kind conversation you can (well, at least something that is interesting to her and sensible), whether it is initially the flirtatious type or not.

Just as with guys, some of us "have game" (aka confidence) and find that getting a phone number is easier than it is for others.

But yes, you'll have to flirt and make a favorable impression before getting her phone number.

It may be easier to get dates by doing your fishing on-line or at a place where lesbians congregate. There's a whole lot of information on this and it'll pay to do some research. Googling "how to date a lesbian" brings up over 55 million results. "How to flirt" brings up over 31 million results...plenty enough to change you into happylesbian.

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A female reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2016):

Hey miss lady. You're a female and it'll eventually be natural to you.

Right now you just got the jitters, nervous first time. You see a chic you think is hot and want to get to know her, talk. Do a lot of eye contact and smile, then hold a stare but not too often then look away and smile. Compliment her.

It really doesn't matter if the girl you admire straight or lesbian, a lot of straight girls flirt with lesbians. Flirting is just conversation between people where theres a physical or sexual attraction. Ask her if she knows any nice hang out spots or where she'd go for fun, you might bump into her there.

If she gives you a lot of eye contact smiles and conversation thats a good sign. If she sits with her legs very close or slightly open towards yours thats a great sign. If she makes frequent physical contact like touching your thigh or hair or hand thats intimacy.

When someone is working be discreet but express your interest. Make sure they see you and make sure you make eye contact and smile, try if you cannto spark a lite conversation. After all the deliberately running into one another, ask if you two and go out or get together and grab your phone and say if thats cool can i text you my number so you can have. You could just go up to a chick and ask for her number but that only works in certain settings.

Better to get to know her, make conversations so she'll feel more free then ask her. You get a girls number by giving yours and asking her to text you so you can save hers. If she doesn't use the number to call you or if she never initiates conversation with you in person thats a bad sign. If she shows interest she'll call or text. You'll feel it when she likes you bc you'll feel good. Hopes this help. Yes and I am a lesbian.

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A male reader, Sageoldguy1465 United States +, writes (16 January 2016):

Sageoldguy1465 agony auntGo see the movie "Carol".... and see if that gives you any insight....

Good luck...

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A female reader, badlesbian  Canada +, writes (16 January 2016):

badlesbian is verified as being by the original poster of the question

Thanks but You didn't even answer the questions.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (16 January 2016):

Honeypie agony auntI would perhaps look into joining a local LGBT group and talk to others who are in a similar situation.

Is is OK to ask (for instance a server/waitress) for her number you ask, well I find that a little hard (no matter if you are a man or a woman) the server/waitress is there to work, part of her job is to BE nice, polite etc. so presuming that she is into you or that she is even lesbian/bisexual is somewhat of a stretch. And hitting on people while they are working is (IMHO) not that nice, it's kind sleazy ( and that is no matter whether you are a guy or a girl). THEY are there to EARN a living, to WORK.

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