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I've had a crush on her for years, but don't know if I should pursue a relationship!

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Question - (24 June 2010) 1 Answers - (Newest, 25 June 2010)
A male United States age 36-40, anonymous writes:

Let me start at the begining. 5 years ago I was working at a local grocery store. I start walking down one of the isles and I spot a young girl that I, for some reason, can't take my eyes off. From that day on for about two years she comes in and out of the store far more often then ever before. I start to get the feeling that she likes me. However, when I first saw her I was 20 and she was 14. So I kept my distance. When she was about 16 she found me on Myspace and added me as a friend. We talked a bit but I didn't want to show that I had an interest in her because I knew it was illegal (in my state the legal age of consent is 18).

She stops talking to me (probably because she felt I wasn't interested) and two years later I find out she's married. She starts contacting me again (even though she's hitched) but I, once again, don't act like I'm interested because I don't want to encourage her to be unfaithful to her husband.

So 10 months go by and then I start seeing posts on her facebook talking about her leaving her husband and how he abused her. I also find out that she had a child with this guy. Anyways, now she's 19 and contacting me. I still have this crush on her, but I can't see it going anywhere. Not when her ex is in her life because of her child. We have so much in common and next month I am going to a concert that she is more than likely going to. This may be the only chance I get to see her in person since she was 15/16. I am confused on whether or not I want to have a relationship with her. I've pretty much waited 5 years for her and I can't see myself with anyone else. But she will always have a connection with this guy and I don't know if I can let that go. So what I'm trying to ask is, how do I get over the fact that she has a child with this guy and her child will forever be the connection that ties her and her ex together? And, I know she has an interest in me, so how do I talk to her in person when all we've ever done is chatted online?

View related questions: crush, facebook, her ex, myspace

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A female reader, kitty-cat=] United States +, writes (25 June 2010):

kitty-cat=] agony auntfirst of all thats adorable. love at first sight3. okay, the child is a piece of her, if you like her that much, you will like the child too. who knows, maybe you will form a great relationship with the kid and be a male role model considering their dad is abusive. you have a problem with the child tying them together because you really like her and your afraid they might get back together. i can tell, you really like this girl, go for it. everyone has baggage. and about talking to her in person, if you have a lot in common it should come easy. i hope you two work out :)

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