A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:First of all, thanks for reading. I'm so depressed and become not confident of myself. I feel so lonely.Luckily, I have boyfriend of 3years who I love so much and help me get through all of my problem as he can. Problem is, I feel so lonely and isolated because I don't have close friend anymore since several months ago due to misunderstanding and miscommunication with them. My girl friends fall into a guy that we all in a group of friendship before and that cause my 2 friends keep backstabbing each other but acted like they are good sister in front when they meet. Initially, I just want to help their problem. I advice one of them and calm her down. But, she told me the truth that my friend is backstabbing me too. Said that I'm close minded that can't make my boyfriend happy, not fun, can't offer free sex to my bf, while she acted like she's so kind to me. Maybe because she thinks that the guy attracted to me too, that guy often find and told me about his problems. Honestly, that guy and my boyfriend are a close friend and she need not to worry about that. When I heard she told me that, I angrily told her what she told me about her without thinking twice. However, I regret that now. She told her what I've said.Now they both still keep in touch although they're not so close anymore. They still hang out several times and I know that they still keep backstabbing each other till now.I can't describe exactly what I feel now. I'm so confused. I feel so lonely and isolated when I know they hang out together while I'm home feel bored doing nothing. Sometimes when I get so down, I tend to so sensitive and angry easily. I get upset when my boyfriend go out and can't meet me. I know I'm wrong. I want to change and move on from this situation but I just don't know how. I feel so stuck in this situation. I really need and want friends like before. Any advice and suggestion are appreciated in advance :)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 April 2012): Thank you for your response :)
Yeah, I've tried to think positively and enjoy my daily life.
Its quite weird I think sometimes when I saw their pictures or know them hang out together I got a bit jealous of that. I've never told about my feeling with anyone before. I don't want to bother my bf with my problem.
When I'm upset, I'm going to think negatively and makes me really down. Sometimes I feel so worthless that no close friend like bfore.
After reading your suggestion I feel more calm down and understand what I'm going to do. Just worry if I woulf think negatively again after seeing them together without me :(
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (19 April 2012): You unfortunately didn't have the best of friends. They were backstabbing each other, and then did it to you as well. Now they continue visiting with each other, although not as close as before, and they exclude you.
Well, you are better off. It means you can now make NEW friends who are REALLY friends, rather than fake ones.
It is better to have one really good trustworthy friend, than many fake ones. So don't feel alone or lonely, it's not you, just luck of the draw how your previous "friends" turned out.
You just need to keep the faith, and try and meet new people, and make more friends. It's great that you have a wonderful boyfriend, the relationship is solid after 3 years, and you are sad when he goes out and you can't go see your friends.
Well, time to revamp your life! Return to your previous hobbies or interests, or find new ones. Things you find interesting, that you love doing, that you always wish you could do. Go online and research "bucket lists" of things to do before you die ;-) and start going down the list and DO IT. While doing the things you love, you will meet likeminded people, and hopefully can make genuine friends from there. It will certainly lessen the boredom and routine.
As for the other two, don't waste any further energy on them. Move on, and get the friends you deserve.
Good Luck :)
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