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female
,
anonymous
writes: I am just now discovering i have a major problem. I have been snooping on my boyfrined to where it is becoming like an obsession. He told me what his access codes are while ago (btw we have been seeing each other for 1 yr) and i never really cared much but since i caught him in a lie, i started snooping and came across some things that are crushing. Now ehenver i can not get a hold of thim, i check his phone log and see who he had called, i am really hating my self for this. I trusted him, but like i mentined since the incident i have become very weary of that he says. He is a nice guy, as afar as caring kind..blah blah. I have talked to him about being honest and he says that whetever he did was innocent and did not think it was a big deal. I am at a point where i anonimously emailed two females i foudn him chatting with on my space to ask them what they had been talking about, to see if there is any need for me to worry.My past 2 relationships ended becuase of trust issues and being lied to and i am so fed up i do not want to go thru this again.
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female
reader, snowbird  +, writes (2 August 2006):
 I have been through exactly the same issue with my man, and it is true - you can't help yourself, once you have been lied to. You think you owe it to yourself to look for clues and find answers...it is like having an itch you can't scratch - after all, if he is guilty the last thing he is going to do is confess, now, is he? Coupled with the fact that you have caught him out before only serves to give you ammunition for doubt.. It does, however HURT when you are proven right, so you have to be prepared for all eventualities, and it is a viscious circle, as it will come back to bite you in the a** in the end. It will erode the trust he has in you too! I will however also add that anyone who is guilty of cheating on a partner forfeits the right to privacy (IMHO) and that wonderful thing called blind faith which, reading some of the stories on this website, is more and more of a luxury these days... Anyone who can tell me I am wrong PLEASE mail me, as I am becoming more sceptical as time goes on!!!...I DO hope I am wrong!! When all is said and done though, some of us, (myself included) -after finding out the truth and extracting the apologies, have to weigh up the pro's and con's of staying with such a partner, making allowances for a momentary weakness, and seeing if they can keep to their word in future. I wish you luck, and happiness..take care.
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