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I've gone off women and I'm only having sexual thoughts about men!

Tagged as: Big Questions, Gay relationships<< Previous question   Next question >>
Question - (26 August 2009) 5 Answers - (Newest, 30 October 2009)
A male United States age 41-50, anonymous writes:

I've gone off women. I'm not sure whether I've just 'come into my sexuality' or not but recently, I've gone completely off women and on to men.

Sexual thoughts about men started for me a long time ago but only in the background and I pursued various hetrosexual relationships to much success (although I did at times fantasize about men). Furthermore, I found that before and after and sometimes during sex I would be thinking of men or a man in particular.

As time has gone on, when I'm alone with my thoughts, so to speak, I only fantasize about sexual encounters with men or long for the touch of a man. Furthermore, whereas I used to watch hetrosexual porn - I am now only fully aroused by gay porn and have amazing orgasms whilst watching it. Sometimes I only have to bendover to pick something up, or I'm on all fours because I've dropped something or even eating a banana and immediately I'm fantasizing again.

Moreover, I've started checking guys out at the gym and in the street. Its a weird experience because I find myself looking at thier bums or bodies or bulges etc... and then feeling guilty after or turning quickly away - feeling that I should still be looking at women, but again when I'm alone it is men I fantasize about. I now get nervous when a man gets close or is talking to me and sometimes find myself daydreaming about them after the conversation.

I've just turned 30 and am begining to wonder if I'm gay and have just taken some time to fully admit my sexuality to my inner self or whether I'm going through a phase and will once again find women attractive?

I would have thought I'm bisexual but, although I can still apreciate a beautifull woman, I rarely fantasize about them, instead I cant wait to look at pictures of men online or watch porn.

Has anyone else had this kind of experience or know anyone who has? I'm finding it quite disorientating, confusing and scary.

I'm thinking about having a sexual encounter with a man in the hope these questions will be answered?

View related questions: gay porn, orgasm, porn

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A male reader, bobbb United Kingdom +, writes (30 October 2009):

ask yourself these questions seriously

do you love women ?

are you attracted to women?

do you like to have sex with women?

if you answer yes to these questions then your straight.

i have had siilar thoughts mabe it might be a midlife crisis or mabe your just curious.

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

Many thanks for the replies ...I'm not trying to label myself - I'm merely on a journey of discovery ...I think the I'm nearly 40' answer makes the most sense to me ...it maybe a mid-life crisis.

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A male reader, Boonridge McPhalify United Kingdom +, writes (26 August 2009):

Boonridge McPhalify agony auntas the other answer below said, dont restrict yourself, be open to opportunities and explore what you think you might like to find out what you want...

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

I am almost 40 and have had the same feeling recently. Perhaps its a drop in hormone levels as I age. I have never had sex with a guy. As a young man, one of my best friends was gay (and considered handsome by the girls) and he would come on to me from time to time and I did not bite. I have always had great sex with a lot of women. I still get hard looking at Victoria Secret models and find pretty young women with great skin to be the best. When I was younger I would masturbate 4 times a day, sometimes just hours before having sex with my girlfriend. As I get older, though, I am finding my sex drive is diminshing. I am lucky if I cum twice a day now and am always looking for ways to spice up sexual encounters. However, recently I have had a few fantasies about giving a blow job and sucking on testicles. I think its all tied into finding ways to boost my interest in sex. I don't find men's bodies particularly attractive. When I go to the nude beach I check out the girls. So what I am saying is that sometimes the brain can give you mixed signals based upon your changing hormones.

Did that help at all?

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A reader, anonymous, writes (26 August 2009):

Sexuality is not a straight cut straight, gay or bi system. There are no distinct catagories. Stop wondering about weather you have a distinct sexuality and just explore and enjoy your fantasies. You may well have relations with men and one day fall in love with a women, or you may fall in love with a man. Dont worry about weather you have just come out as being gay, labels are to restrictive and dont reflect the fact that sexuality of any kind is part of a broad spectrum.

Hope this helps.

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