A
male
age
26-29,
*enry1808
writes:Hi, Ive haad suspicions for a while now that my mother is having an affair with her co-worker. I have read texts of a sexual nature between them and one where the two were talking about divorcing their spouses and living their lives together. My parents have put their house on the market, and I read a text saying that my mother had no intentions of staying with my dad when they sell the house. What makes this all the more worse is that my sister passed away in last february after battling cancer for four years. Both my parents are still grieving and i feel a that if the two were to divorce then i would be caught in the middle, and my father would be lonely. Should I confront my mum and the man she's having an affair with? Do i tell my dad whats going on? I feel like I've been through enough these past years and my parents divorce would make it much much worse. What should I do?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2011): Confront your mother. Tell her if she doesn't come clean to your dad u will tell him she has a lover. Your dad has also been through a lot. So he doesn't need a cheating wife too. The sooner this is all in the open the better. Better bec there will be no more secrets or lies but plse be aware that your mother may still want to be with her lover. But let your dad make a decision. If they go their separate ways you may want to stay with your dad.
I think your mum is very disrespectful and she knows that your sisters illness was difficult on all. She moved on and decided to play with her lover while you and your dad were mourning the loss. Confront your mu. Be angry. Scream and shout. Get it all out. That is part of your healing. Don't be afraid to tell her all you know. Give her a few days and tell her if she doesn't tell your dad, you will. Do not let her emotionally abuse you and make u feel guilty. Do not allow her to say that u are breaking the family. She did this totally on her own.
Love your dad and also help him through this. Yes you are a youngster but u have a good head on your shoulders.
Can I suggest counselling for you: you have also been traumatised by your sisters death. Losing a loved one is sad and I think u need to talk to a professional.
Good luck. Chin up. Plse send us an update.
Difficult times but you will be okay. Promise!
LoveGirl
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (14 January 2011):
 My heart goes out to you losing your sister at such a young age and now the stress of this you must be under so much stress. I guess sometimes when parents lose a child the grieving can come in between them and drive them apart am guessing it may have drove your mum in to the arms of another man, this is hard for any child to discover and its even worse at your age.
You shouldnt be holding all of this in to yourself its not healthy i think the best thing that you can do is tell your mother what you know find a time where it is just you and her and be open and honest with her and tell her exactly how you feel. This may bring her to her senses.
Goodluck and all the best in the future. And just remember if your parents do seperate you will still have to parents who love you alot and never forget that none of this is your fault.
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