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male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I have a bit of a dilema, my girlfriend has recently broken up with me and i am just starting to get over her. But i kept in contact with her sister in law, she has been a rock to me we have always got on great and she has confided personal things to me that she couldnt tell anyone else and has seperated from her husband a few times before and i was the only one that would talk to her.I have always found her attractive and have had strong feelings for her for years, lately we have started to secretly e-mail and talk on the phone more and more, not just about my break up but personal things as well. The thing is i have fallen in love with her and constantly think about her all the time, even dream about her. I know this is wrong but I have told her a few times how i feel and that i would look after and treat her well. I know that she doesnt love her husband and is just with him for the kids, but i told her (no pressure) that I would be prepared to take on the kids as well.She has suggested that we meet for lunch soon, maybe even dinner, which i would love nothing more to show her how she should be treated, as she never goes out apart from work and shopping, whilst he goes out when he wants and never looks after the kids.Any advice?
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (16 February 2007): I agree with the above writer. A married person is off limits, and a married person with kids is doubly so. Figure out what it was you liked about her-- her supportiveness, her attractiveness, her mothering qualities, etc.-- and look for those qualities in someone else. I'm sure you will find what you are looking for, with no strings attached.
A
female
reader, cd206  +, writes (1 February 2007):
 Don't take this the wrong way but I think she's feeling a little pressured to leave her husband. It sounds very much like you're doing all the running in this relationship and she's tempted because she's not happy in her relationship. The thing is, that because kids are involved, they deserve to grow up with their real father, regardless of whether you would treat them better. I think my advice would be to pull back and little and let her initiate some contact and see how it goes from there.
CD
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