A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:hi all. I am a life science post graduate. I graduated three years before. And worse part is, I'm unemployed for last three years. I love shopping and used to do so in my college days. The problem is my mother used to scold me whenever I was about to buy any clothing, jewellery etc. she never did this when I was studying. She spoiled my three birthdays by arguing about some things happened before. She often humiliated me in front of our other relatives. So then I decided not to buy anything furthermore. It has been two years I haven't bought anything. But she is as cold as ice. She still do not miss any chance to let me down, she often says that I am good for nothing. I always kept trying for job. But I always get rejections. As she is single parent, I cannot complaint to anyone about her. I feel so much disgraced. I am so hurt. I told her this but she ignored it. I am fed up with my life. I just don't want to wake up ever. I feel like forlorn. Please help me how could I drag myself out. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2017): I really dont condone calling your mother names. Dont forget she carried you in her body for 9 months then she spent countless sleepless nights taking care of your needs and deprived herself from countless things as a single mother to get you where you are now. She must have had high hopes that you will be somebody and compensate at least some of her sacrifices. She is not mean but she is disappointed and bitter. WiseAwle has given you some good advice. I just want to add be nice to your mother and explain to her your problems and ask her to help you and get a job even if its not in your field of education and work hard to make her happy. Shake off this depression of you and always have hopes and dreams and work to make them come true. GOOD LUCK.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2017): Your old enough to move out house share is a good idea get any job just to get away from your mum... And you carnt make her happy doing things her way so just do it your way you are the only one who can change this be brave and strong and as she is negative dont tell her anything until you sort it out ... So go out there take any job save get house share leave home ....
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 April 2017): Your depression seems to be taking hold; so it is time to see your medical doctor for a complete physical examination to determine if you need only a simple prescription; or to see if a referral to a mental-health specialist is required to get an evaluation for clinical depression.
To get started find a part-time job. Get something simple just to get yourself used to a regular work schedule and fulfilling a daily task. It will also get you used to being around co-workers and restore your self-confidence.
Stop feeling sorry for yourself. If your mother is being cruel, she hasn't a clue what she's doing. You look lazy and she thinks she's motivating you. You can't blame her if a woman over 25 lies around the house doing nothing.
She doesn't think in terms of your mental-health; because she is too mean, exhausted, and ignorant to realize. If you have no money, how can you shop? If you have an allowance, save-up to purchase yourself a decent outfit for your interviews. A nice business-suit and heels. A lovely silk scarf. India has some of the most beautiful silks I have ever seen!
People don't push themselves enough anymore. They think a pill or therapy will magically make them grow-up. Most of the effort in getting better and recovering from anything requires your will and commitment. Fortitude and determination. Self-pity and giving-up will render even the most expensive therapy ineffective.
Sometimes it takes time to get that first job. So you get whatever you can to put money in your pocket, and earn enough to move out of your mean mother's house. She'll miss you when you're gone; and to your benefit, she'll be out of your hair. Let that be your motivation!
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A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (10 April 2017):
 I think you need to do two things:
- see a therapist
- volunteer at an animal rescue, homeless shelter, elderly care home, etc.
Seeing a therapist would help you with the depression and volunteering would get you out of the house, doing something good with your time and giving you more experience to put on your CV when applying for jobs.
Most employers will avoid hiring someone who has done no work in 3 years, but they'd reconsider if the person had been volunteering. So, I think it would be a good idea to start now and you may find yourself more employable in 6 months.
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A
male
reader, Denizen +, writes (10 April 2017):
 Depression, self assertion problems, low self-esteem. Do you think that perhaps it is time to get some professional help? It is quite common that fairly intelligent people can be very slow to pick up on how to help themselves.
If money is the problem then start by motivating yourself - maybe by helping those less fortunate than yourself by volunteering.
It is so much better than staying under the bed covers.
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