A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Recently this past few months I've been feeling really really sad and I don't know how to fix that?? I am an honours student in university, I have a great life at home, I am well off financially, and I kinda have everything...not to toot my own horn but I have a very good life. But one thing is I don't have a lot of friends, this has always been my reality and it never really upset me and I'm very used to it. I don't know what's making me sad, but now I find that I hate being alone, I'll go to coffee shops, grocery stores, and the mall just to get people to talk to me, I'll try to stay "in public" as much as possible and often work overtime just so I don't have to go home. This is really odd because I used to love being at home and now I just can't be home without freaking out (regardless if I am home alone or with the family) I've tried to take on more hobbies to keep myself occupied, and making more friends to go out more but I still feel this anxiety. I don't know what to do, any suggestions?
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (31 December 2016):
 Are you close enough to a family member to talk to them about how you feel? Feeling sad is okay to admit and believe me it does help being able to talk to someone about it. If you don't have anyone you are close enough to then maybe there are groups in your area, or a women's centre you can go to? Never ignore your mental health.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (24 December 2016): Try listening to native american indian music on you tube and relaxing celtic sounds!
Soon you 'll be wishing you had more time to relax and recharge and its free and easy to enjoy.
Just transport the mind!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): 1) as another poster said, take up hobbies that get you outside. Learn how to ski, skate, go toboganning...whatever, but winter is a tough time and yes SAD is very real unless you are getting your sunlight daily dosage ! 2) For those of us who are more introverted it is hard to make friends. keep doing those activities you are getting involved in. When you are depressed it is even harder to make friends because you don't feel like going out. Force yourself to go out and socialize even if you don't feel like it. Go to that work party. Go to the cocktail party that's intimidating. THen you can develop a couple of close friends that you can call on to hang out one-on-one, which is way better for introverts ;) But first you have to do the dirty work of going to damn parties you dont feel like :P
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A
female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (23 December 2016):
 It could be a touch of Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD), you live up North (Canada according to your flag) so winter time there is a LOT less natural sunlight and it CAN affect people. I know it affects me.
I TRY and make a point of going outside EVERY day (even when it snow - well someone has to shovel the driveway lol but besides that going outside EVERY day works for me, even with no visible sunshine)
Exercise ALSO makes a HUGE difference. In summer it comes naturally to get out and do active things, in winter? Not so much. So maybe consider going to the GYM.
It can be hormonal, it can be an imbalance in you. There are SO many things it can be. I'd try and make a point of getting out and about - go for a walk (unless it's hazardous cold and nasty out) and work out EVERY day - I'd say 45 min for each if possible). You can combine those two and if you ski (like cross country) & have snow - get out there and bring a friend or family member and enjoy it for an hour. OR if you aren't too keen on that, GO on YouTube and look up some Yoga for beginners and try it out.
If all this fails to help you after a month (of ACTUALLY doing it) go see your doctor. Even people with great lives can feel depressed without really knowing why.
Chin up and Merry Christmas.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): I conclude from your post you dont have a female friend. So having a gf might dispel the lonliness and sad feelings. This time of the year with xmas near and the end of the current year and start of a new year and the atmosphere of vestifities all really amplify the feelings of lonliness.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): Keep on with the things that make you feel good but remember life can have its "lulls"!It isnt all happening all of the time and you have done well to get yourself into a time of your life where you can review your options.Dont panic about the friendships!Life is very fluid.If you have done no harm or damage to anyone you will be owed some good karma.However dont depend on it bringing instant rewards.That nagging anxiety is telling you that there is something you want to change in your life and when you realise what it is you will set about remedying things favourably.In case you have forgotten a lot of poorer people spend time saving money.This is useful and also the end result of overtime at work, but I think you should adjust the pressure on yourself and spend a bit more time dreaming and planning on things you intend to do in the future.You will meet that special someone when the time is correct for it so dont pressure yourself.Keep a diary for yourself just to keep track and to see how your thoughts and wishes change over time.You are ticking all the boxes right now so just add a little patience and develop some home-based hobbies so that home isnt just a crash pad and set about enjoying some productive home time because you know you are worth it!
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 December 2016): Keep on with the things that make you feel good but remember life can have its "lulls"!It isnt all happening all of the time and you have done well to get yourself into a time of your life where you can review your options.Dont panic about the friendships!Life is very fluid.If you have done no harm or damage to anyone you will be owed some good karma.However dont depend on it bringing instant rewards.That nagging anxiety is telling you that there is something you want to change in your life and when you realise what it is you will set about remedying things favourably.In case you have forgotten a lot of poorer people spend time saving money.This is useful and also the end result of overtime at work, but I think you should adjust the pressure on yourself and spend a bit more time dreaming and planning on things you intend to do in the future.You will meet that special someone when the time is correct for it so dont pressure yourself.Keep a diary for yourself just to keep track and to see how your thoughts and wishes change over time.You are ticking all the boxes right now so just add a little patience and develop some homebased hobbies so that home isnt just a crash pad and set about enjoying some productive home time because you know you are worth it!
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A
male
reader, BrownWolf +, writes (23 December 2016):
 "But one thing is I don't have a lot of friends, this has always been my reality and it never really upset me and I'm very used to it."
Christmas is coming and not having a solid friend circle to hang out with or invite over, can make people sad.
You ever heard that saying "Money can't buy true happiness". Well, it's true. No matter how much stuff you have or how well off you are, if you have no one to touch your heart, what is the point?
"I find that I hate being alone" You just answered your question right here.
"I don't know what's making me sad"
Humans are not meant to be alone. That is why we have families, friends, and partners. Take away those things, and we go against our very nature. The need to bond with others. This is what makes us sad and depressed when it is missing.
It not the amount of friends you have. It's that one or two people in your life that you bond with. A boyfriend, or a good friend that knows you better than you know yourself.
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