A
male
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Im 16 and I have been with my girlfriend for 8 months, and we are actually sticking with each other for hopefully ever. But there's a minor implication in the way. She wants to wait until shes 18 until she has sex. Which is completely fine, shes only 15. But Im afraid she just will refuse to have sex with me even after shes 18... I respect her, Im in love with her, I completely trust her, but she is completely self conscious and she is just the most beautiful girl ever...but she has a skin problem on her back and that makes it so she never wants to have sex...and this isnt some mystical teenage unfigurable thing. She will refuse after 3 years and she will refuse even after that...I dont want to be a douche and tell her that I need to know what exactly she wants and needs from me to make it happen. Help? Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): Babes, I'm sure at eighteen she'll be ready, just stand by her tell her her back is beautiful and ddon't mention sex at all and it will probably occur sooner .
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): I thing making a promise to most definately have sex once she is 18 is a big mistake - yes 15 is too young but who is to say she'll be ready at that age or whether you guys will be together. I think making such a commitment like that will only push you guys apart. And just so you know, she may have a skin condition that is effecting her confidence right now but in time she may become happier with accepting who she is. I too have a skin issue and do you know what, i lost my virginity by choice at 23 because that is when i felt i was ready. Below that age i did not want to risk pregnancy, STDs and anything getting in the way of my education. She will have sex when she is ready and pushing/putting pressure will not make the event happen any sooner. If you want to be with her forever then you have your whole lives to have sex, don't rush ... take your time as obviously, you got lots of it :)
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): I think your jumping ahead of yourself here! I think it is very unlikely she will never have sex. If she is with someone who loves her and shows he does not care about her back then yes one day she will have sex. I think you need to let it go. She is not ready for sex, not just because of her back but because of her age.
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A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (28 May 2010):
 Sounds like she's being clear about what she wants. If you truly love her and she truly loves you, you can't worry about the sex. She will want to be with you in every way, and that means physicaly. But you can't get hung up on whether she'll continue to refuse or not. There's no way you can get her to "promise" you sex.
What you can do is be really good to her and help her to feel like the most beautiful person in the world when she's with you. Just reassure her that you're looking into her eyes and not at her back.
But don't worry about the sex. She's 15, and that's pretty young for sex. Don't pressure her or keep bringing it up either. Please don't cheat on her either...I guarantee that she's gonna be faithful to you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (28 May 2010): If you can find a way to make her feel fine about her skin problem?? I get you want sex but it's quite possible her mind is set!! If you've got 3 years to make her feel like she doesn't need to be self concious I'm sure she'll stck to what she is saying!!
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