A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Had been with my boyfriend around 4 years off and on throughout college, but we just broke up a few weeks ago. It seems that we grew apart because of new interests. He had just bought a boat and i hate it (i dont like sea or water) - he seems to want to spend all his free time on it. We argued so much because i hardly ever seen him, that he has decided he wants to find a girl who will share this interest. Seems cruel that once the boat came along i got pushed to the side. Do you think i should just move on - dont think he wants to compromise on how much time he spends with me or out on the boat. Can love work with different interests? Thank you.
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): Hi
Love can work with different interests they can often compliment each other. But it is wrong to try and stop a partner from doing something that makes them happy. it is a shame you do not like the boat and all of the adventures that can come along with it, but that's not your fault. He i would say should most definitely pursue his interest it is better than sat at home watching eastenders ( make belief) get out there and breath the life into your veins you will come to life!, he is living his life and trying to enjoy it. Do you have an outside interest that you can concentrate on while he is on the boat? Can you not compromise and try getting sea legs, you might end up loving it? What would you both be doing if the boat was not around ? What is it that you don't like? It is not cruel that the boat came along in my eyes it is wonderful and boy will you miss out ! life is thrilling when you take the adventurous pathway, we do it on a wing and a prayer and on motorbikes, boat, life is dull and colourless without an adventurous spirit, and we all have one, it just needs a wake up call, seize the opportunities.
Good luck and i hope all works out well, even if you really can not adapt to the boat, maybe your a SKY type of gal...planes, wings, jumps???? you never know unless you try.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): sorry must reply again after the first messege-
i was a bit insensistive in that messege- you both have got things to work out- a boat isnt so bad whats the real problem
ps love certainly can work with different interests but there needs to be some cohesion and some creative togetherness. believe me space is a great thing having different iterests makes you both interesting people- and if you guys dont see each other as much to follow other interests- find out a way to establish what is important between the both of you, go and talk to him that you still want to see him but the way the dynamic is right now just isnt working.
then actively set some goals as to how you can both be together and do your own things.
love and passion is stronger when given lots of space and the attraction will be 10 times as strong if both of you can except more space and admire eachothers individuality
remember two whole on one half otherwise you guy will just be seeking out other peoples halfs which is no god anyway.
you guys are in a good position to change things- you been together for 4 years.
say you want to see him still and plan out how you think the relationship could work, both need to be open to ideas.
you need to respect his space surely though, and he needs to respect your feelings about water- he should get to know you more how you feel about water and boats and you should just be honest maybe you will realise something about your place in nature and open up to new perspectives.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 August 2008): get creative- if you love him get him working towards being able to sai to cool places like the canaries or the azores or across to the carribean or south america.
if your not the adventerous type then thats sad- life to short and being in the same place to often maybe cushdy for you but others like to change thier environments-
have a creative life review and assess wether you should take more risks in life and live in the moment.
A boat! think about what can be done with a boat- he maybe daydreaming alot and not communicating with you which would be a sign of something else going on in your relationship.
but be practical and think how you can combine a boat- a great asset and resource into something you can use for fun, to travel or to make money-
i would even pay you guys if you would give me and my girlfriend a ride along the west coast of africa-
being closer to nature should settle you not disturb-
if can guess that this advice is probably not what your looking for- but a boat- HOW COOL.
hold on a sec how big is it? is it a sea farer? becuase if it is and you dont like it then maybe your just jealous he loves the boat more than you-
your being too clingy and stressed out ITS A DAMN BOAT. let go- allow him to be happy and maybe he will be more into you.
if you dont care you dont care.
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