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male
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anonymous
writes: Hi, I went out with this girl a few years back, initially she seemed ok but over a period of time I started liking her more and more and eventually fell in love, but as soon as it was apparant I was in love with her she started turning away from me and wouldn't see me or pick up my calls, I pleaded with her not to do this for no reason. I got quite pissed initailly and everytime I stopped calling her she would sooner or later call me. I tried real hard to get over her but i just seemed unable to do that and kept thinking about her. I kept arguing with myself over her whether I had done something wrong or was she just the wrong person to fall for. I went out with other girls but couldnt get involved with anyone and did hurt a few girls in the process, am pretty guilty about this. Since we live in a small city I still manage to run into her and everytime I do that this unexplainanble feeling takes over me and I panic. I have lost a lot of confidence over this am really scared of getting into relationships now. I think its more of an issue of ego and self respect with me, I was really nice to her in every way and she just dumped me for no apparant reason, didnt even give a reason just stopped talking to me. At the time of the break up I was also going through a personel crisis at home with my parents splitting up and me having to leave a big comfort zone and live with my mother. Now I heard shes going out with someone else and have seen them around town. Everytime I do I get this feeling of dread and grief come over me and am depressed for days. I want to get over it and move on, I know this sounds lame but somehow I keep going back to her maybe its coz I think I'll get my pride back if she comes back to me. My moods are affected by this, even thogh I havent done anything silly but still am not a happy person overall. Also I'd like to add that when we started going out she had just come out of a messy divorce and for me she was the first girl I dated in a long while. Hope you can put some propective on this one for me, i want to make this history. Thanks Fred
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (29 August 2006): Hi Fred, my girl took me home and told me she was going to give me my birthday present as it was after midnight which turned out to be a memorable night of making love. On my Birthday/night we went out and had a great night out together she went to the toilet came back and dumped me with out reason and still no explanation this is with in the past 8 days today being 29 august 2006 . I am devestated, how'ever, a close freind who is in a deep and very meaningful close relationship has told me a secret that her guy, family , son and friends don't know, she has cervical cancer and she tells me that she is dying - she has sworn me to secrecy and apart from this i value her trust in me. I am hurting like anything Fred because of not knowing why my girl has reacted in such away and left me- which has nothing to do with the lady fore mentioned, i too want my girl friend so badly to help me through the bad news but can't tell her even if she did come back dispite the cnacer lady being both our friend and in fact a second mother to my girl friend. Its natural to pine as when you lose someone in death, time is a great healer but you need to move on be brave mate, cry if you have too. I am now thinking of two things the girl i love and the friend who needs me, as she is now going to make the best of her life with her boyfriend and see as much as her family as possible as soon she will be dead, my exgirl will be alive and if she is happy i am happy for her as that is her decision but the greatest regret is that her freind who is poorly may not be here for much longer?
A
female
reader, kellyO  +, writes (20 July 2006):
 Hi fred,
You posting is a very sincere one. You said it was more like a bruising of pride and i can relate with that. The one thing i would not let anyone do to me is see that becos of them i couldnt move on. That is the satisfaction u cant give anyone. She has a boyfriend now and has moved on and u see her around. Dont give her the pleasure that u are still pining away for her. Why should u?To redeem your broken pride you have to move on.
I still think u havent met the right girl for u even if u have been dating for a while. You should try not to link this with your previous relationship with this girl. It probably has nothing to do with that. Keep dating the right girl might just be round the corner.
Goodluck dear.
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