A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Okay. This is kind of hard to talk about but...I met a guy and we began getting to know one another a little... texting mostly. we smoked together a few times... it was clear that we were both interested...then one day something told me to ask him if he had a girlfriend (even though this is something that a guy usually tells you immediately) and he said no but he looked away... i asked him to look at me and tell me the truth and he admitted that he had a girlfriend. at this point i should have cut him off entirely... i know this... but i didn't... this is the first time in my life that i continued casually flirting and romantically getting to know a man who i knew had a girlfriend and my conscience beat me up about it but i continued getting to know him. well recently the inevitable happened... we had sex and i thought it was great even though i teased him about not lasting any longer than thirty minutes...after sex that night he was sweeter and nicer and more open with me than he had ever been - but the next day he did not call... he has not texted or called me for three days now... i feel so silly... Why is it that he hasn't called me? I don't want to call him and seem desperate. What should I do?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (1 December 2008): Three days is a long time not to even send a simple text. If he is interested he should be banging your door down, not being aloof. I think he's feeling very guilty and made a judgment that if you would sleep with him when you knew he had a girlfriend that you are just as guilty. Presumably he led you to believe that he would end that relationship and be with you, just for sex - which is hurtful. I do not understand why men use women this way and then ignore them, hoping that they won't be hurt and will just quietly 'go away'. Try to learn a lesson from this. Good luck. xx
A
female
reader, Honeygirl  +, writes (1 December 2008):
 Sweetie, he cheated on his girlfriend with you and now is probably feeling really guilty. Move on, if he cheated with you he is not boyfriend material!
Honeygirl
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (1 December 2008):
Sappy girl is right I'm afraid.
You knew he had a girlfriend and then slept with him. So in his mind you are not girlfriend material.
He could also be having an attack of conscience. He's cheated on his girlfriend so now he feels bad and is cutting you off.
Either way he has used you and will never call you again.
Put this down as a learning experience and next time a guy says he has a lady in his life, RUN AWAY!
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, sappygirl +, writes (1 December 2008):
 what did you expect to happen? after sex..the connection would be so amazing that he left his girlfriend for you?
Well... i'm sure you want that result but the truth is. he's probably guilty about cheating on his girlfriend.
He needs his distance and space to sort out his feelings.
He probably is thinking because he told you he already had a girlfriend, and you went ahead and pursued him, then you are just a "fun" girl to him.
Give him time, unfortunately men can have sex and not have any emotion involved. For Women, we confuse sex w/love ect ect. You should have given respect to his girlfriend and backed up and left him alone. I don't understand why women continue to disrespect other women ..we need to be helping out each other. Not sleeping with their men.
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