A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi I would like some advice.I was in a relationship for 6months. We took it very slow at the beginning. He told me he had alot of wounded damage from his previous relationships and he was hurt in the past, but his ex was no longer in the picture. so we took it slow. We had a common bond, and similiar interest. He would talk everyday for hours. It wasnt about sex, he never pressured me and said he would wait whenever I was ready. He seemed stressed sometimes due to work, but I have always been laidback. Never clingy, as I have my own interests and hobbies outside the relationship. Things were getting on fine. He messaged me goodnight, and then suddenly from that day on no more messages.So i messaged him , to ask if he was allright and what was going on, but no reply, he blanked me. I waited a week, now its three weeks. I know he is alive, because I called with private number and his phone rings. I havent been hassling, I left it at that. I am so confused about what is going on. I dont know why its been three weeks and I have no reply. I feel so hurt because I have no closure. I dont understand the houdini disappearing act, and I feel in peices that if he didnt want to be with me, why couldnt he just tell me . I feel so worthless, disappointed and betrayed. How can he just forget me in three weeks.I dont know if I ever will get closure and I dont know how to move on from this.
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 June 2013): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionhi thankyou very much for taking the time to reply to my problem...It just occured to me, I probably wont get closure.It did drive me nuts for three weeks and it still hurts but I guess I just have to get on with life. Its been a painful experience but i am going to try my hardest to close the chapter and go out and just enjoy my life. Even if he does come crawling back, I dont think I will ever speak to him , he just isnt worth it. I realised his disappearance has no reflection on me as a person..Thankyou guys :)
A
female
reader, oldbag +, writes (21 June 2013):
 Hi
Sounds like he has issues with all relationships, most folk have one or even two bad experiences but he tells you about being hurt and also being wounded from his past experiences,like none were good.
You seemed to play his therapist in a way and he unloaded on you because your confident laid back with a life - and listened to him.
Leave him be, you won't get closure from him, he's gone. I bet it isn't the first time he's done this either. He seriously needs to work on himself and you need to realise you had a lucky escape.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): Hes an attention seeker and ignores you to watch you chase after him. Ignore him totally. Go out with your friends and forget him. He will always play these stupid games with you.
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A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (20 June 2013):
 You will probably never get closure from him.
You have to make your own closure... so what do you need to do that?
He owes you an explanation but there will probably be none forthcoming from him.
I am sure that he did not just forget you but he realized he does not want a relationship and does not know how to tell you this... after you put in all the time and effort over 6 months to help him heal, he realized that while he likes you and cares about you he is not ready to have a new relationship. Granted he's being a chicken about it but there is not much you can do to make him give you what you want and need....
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (20 June 2013): He has done the disappearing act. You DO NOT want him back. Big red flag. No matter what the reason it, it can not be good. This is SUCH A MEAN thing to do to a person as it makes them go a little crazy trying to work out what happened. Consider it a deal breaker and decide that no matter what the reason is, you don't care and do all you can to move on. In time you will heal. This is so so hurtful, and it may take a lot of time to work through it, but one day.. you truly won't care anymore.
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