A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I was in love with a boyfriend 12 years ago, we dated for 6 years and were best friends. He was lovely, caring, everything I wanted in a life partner. However, I was young and naive and thought that the beginnings of a relationship (when it's exciting, butterflies in the stomach etc) was how it should feel ALL the time, rather than settle into a comfortable love when you've been with someone for a long time. So although he would have done anything for me, and I loved him dearly, I decided to break up with him and travel overseas to Australia to 'find myself'. When I was overseas I still called him and missed him so much, but felt I had something to prove...as I say, I was young and stupid. Overseas I met another man who was awful, but I was lonely and fell into a relationship with him. After the ex boyfriend heard this he finally started dating again (it had been a year). Once I got home I wanted everything to be as it had been before, but it turns out that the first girl he dated after me he ended up marrying. They now have 3 children and from looking at family photos he looks really really happy, and his wife is beautiful.So...7 years later I was lucky enough to meet and marry another lovely man, but his dreams are different to mine. The ex boyfriend and I wanted the same things, to live on land rather than the city, things like that. I am living in an inner city townhouse because we need to be close to my husband's work. Sometimes I feel that he will never love me in the same way as the ex boyfriend, although I can't fault him as a husband, he is lovely, kind and thoughtful. My problem is this - every few weeks I dream about the ex boyfriend, that we are still together and happy, and then I wake up feeling awful. I still miss him so much it hurts, and it has been 12 years! I try not to think about it, but then it sneaks up on me in a dream so I can't ignore it. I can never tell the ex boyfriend, or my husband, but it continues to haunt me. I just don't know how to make peace with having made a stupid decision when I was 25, 12 years ago...please help.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 September 2009): i am in the same situation too.. i am in love with my ex husband before 8 years and we were in love for 8 years. due to some issues i moved out of him and tried hard to forget him which i cudnt do at all. after 8 years one day he mailed me and i suffered a lot in those 8 years and learnt about the importance of him. but now he is married and having his kid and family . but he still feels the same like before and he also didnt forget me ..
he is willing to take me bcoz he also missed me all those years ..
i am also in a wiating whether to take this chance and be with him again if he leaves his wife ..
my personal opinion is it is worth to live with the person whom we love rather to be with someone whom we are not intimate with .....only one time we live our life and we should give importance for the true love and not wasting the second chance we get to get our love back
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