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female
,
anonymous
writes: it has been ten months sence i discovered the father of my 3 children and live in partner of 8 years,had an affair with his ex.i was in shock to realise just now that it has been so long sence it happened,and to feel as devestated as if it happened yesterday. i still love him..yet hate him so much for what he has done.i thought time would ease the pain i feel..it hasn't.i am so sad and so very angry all the time.i do feel like a completely different person,and stronger in so far as i will take no ones crap again.does it get better? or am i flogging a dead horse? how can anyone get over being lied to and treated with such disregaurd?and also the fact i haven't even begun on the slut who led him to her bed..knowing me and knowing our children. i want to punch her face in.
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reader, anonymous, writes (10 November 2006): Let's deal with 'The Slut' first:
I am speaking from personal experience almost identical to yours. I know people below have said 'yeah but he was the attached one'. Rubbish - they ARE both to blame - I've been here myself and I know where you're coming from with your feelings towards her. Don't get mad - get clever. Let the little b*tch see you both walking down the street holding hands, or playing with your kids together looking like a happy family (even if this isn't the case at the moment behind closed doors). That'll wipe the smug smile off her face quicker than a punch!!
Moving on - you need to regain some control in your relationship. I feel you haven't addressed any of the issues fully - in fact I feel you've brushed everything under the carpet in the hope things will magically 'get better' one day. They won't. You need to sit down with your partner and get all your feelings out in the open. Then you need to tell him that you won't be mugged off again - set some very tough boundaries. Make him earn your trust and respect. 10 months is not long enough to get over such a massive betrayal and you have my sympathy - I have been through every emotion you have!
Stay strong - it will get better but only if you face up to things and clear the air. Unresolved issues will fester and keep dragging you back down. Once you have cleared the air you can look forward to an exciting future with your partner and kids.
Ignore Mr 'Rage Issues' below. He's probably about 18 with zero real life experience.
Good Luck - let me know how you get on! x
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (9 November 2006):
Are you and the 'partner' still together?
Regardless, you need to get help because you have rage issues.
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