A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:My boyfriend of 5 months always wants sex. I'm 22 and he's 19, I can understand he's a hormonal teenager, but not only can I not keep up, I physically can't, I inflame easily therefore can only take it slow with a lot of foreplay.Although I'm normally very sexual, I find it hard to want it all the time with him since he's very bad at foreplay and sex.I'm used to being in long term relationships and he's used to one-night stands. I can understand his experience has a lot to do with it, so try to instruct and direct him politely during sexual acts.However he never listens and is very cocky about how good he thinks he is!!Sex seems to be slightly improving (only slightly!) but I can't get him to touch me how I like it or even comfortably! I can be really turned on until he touches me intimately and instantly get turned off. Ive attempted telling him verbally, reading books with him and even watching 'how to' porn videos with him!!I never thought it was possible to have bad sex when your so physically attracted to someone, I'm very physically attracted to him and we get on perfectly, so happy with him but how can I be turned off when he touches me?!It seems like a chore to have sex with him because I hardly get pleasure from him and he wants it ALL the time!!!To the extent that I wake up in the middle of the nights with his finger inside me or licking around there or feeling me up. Normally it would be a pleasure to be woken up like this but I can't stand it and it's turning me off him!!What can I do to save our relationship??!!??
View related questions:
foreplay, his ex, porn Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): Hi Cerberus,
Thank you for your answer,
I find myself constantly pushing him away and making excuses not to have it, but he actually gets in a strop and huffs and puffs. He is so consistent it takes him about 12 goes before he actually gets it usually.
I feel I have to, otherwise I'll loose him. I've tried many ways to fix it and i've tried not caring. I don't want to give up so soon. I do think sex is a very important part of a really important part of a relationship.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (27 March 2013): I'd try one last thing though OP before you consider ending this due to compatibility.
What are the consequences for him for not doing this right? That's right there are none, so why should he give a shit? Yes, in a perfect world he wouldn't think he's amazing and he would listen to words. But shit OP if I was a 19 year old I wouldn't listen either, if I'm so shit then why do I get to fuck you so often and you not do anything about it?
Nothing bad happens OP, you say you feel no pleasure but how can that be if you still act like you want to fuck his brains out constantly?
See what I'm getting at?
You say one thing but your body says another. Why would he try and get better if he doesn't have to, he knows he's awesome in bed because you can't get enough of him.
It's simple, he touches you in a sore way, stop him. Pull his hand away and just stop, don't continue any more sexiness. When he asks, tell him the truth. That hurt, you did it wrong and I'm no longer in the mood. Then stick to that OP.
It's not game playing, it's not manipulation it's just honesty, that hurt/turned me off I don't want to have sex now.
OP the only way he'll learn how to touch you properly if he ever does if he knows by doing it wrong he's going to turn the off switch and get nothing for the rest of the evening.
That should teach him. If it doesn't then screw it, he's just shit in bed and some people just can't be taught.
...............................
|
