A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:my girlfriend told me out of the blue that she doesnt feel the same love anymore for me....this happened after we both were frustrated to the max because i kept on nagging her for not giving time to this relationship....we were seeing each other since 2 years and it was a long distance...its been 15 days of NC and i am extremely surprised how she let go everything so easily....we were soulmates and even i was the life for her ..quite mysterious for me! and she isnt answering my calls......she left telling me that we can be friends but when i contacted her after a week she was ignoring me.....i went to meet her 600 miles away and she made all kinds of excuses saying she is doing this to make me hate her which will make it easier for me to forget her blahblahblah......she said she loved me but later on when her friends joined she said that she just has traces of feelings for me and they have all faded......i dont know what to do now! its been 10 days i havent heard of her and she has just disappeared ....this makes my heart raise so many questions about our relationship we had...was that fake? she is just 18 though....please advise...thanks for the time...
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): I'm gonna keep this short, simple and not so sweet.
Long Distance Relationships do not work. I repeat LDR does not work, it is painful, and fraught with overblown emotions that are mistaken for love.
Was your relationship fake, I doubt it, what it was was immature. If you had been in a place in your life where you could have made this relationship work, one or the other of you would have been able to move closer to the other. Feelings cannot be sustained over time with little or no physical, personal interaction. Over 90% of communication is non verbal and most of that is lost in a LDR.
The other caveat is that your girl is 18. She is a typical 18 year old girl. They change their minds as often and as fast as they change their underwear.
She wasn't your soul mate, soul mates don't exist. And if they do, then there are many many soul mates out there for everyone of us. So just go out and find you another.
This girl is clearly over you and ready to move on and she wants you to do the same. In my opinion after 2 years, you are long overdue.
I know you are feeling hurt right now, but if you really want to understand what true love is on an intellectual level, then I have some suggested reading for you.
"The Road Less Traveled" by M. Scott Peck.
A
male
reader, Kenj +, writes (24 March 2010):
 Well if you are soulmates, she will come back. Stop calling her, stop texting, stop emailing and have silent contact.
It may be possible she has someone else, but probably not, she will probably be missing you more than you think.
It really depends how the relationship was, did she love you and more important was she in love with you? If you cant answer this for sure then move on now.
Hope this works out for you.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (24 March 2010): Why be someone who is not all into you. Let her go, go your way and find happiness with someone else that will appreciate you. Remember the saying someones trash is someones else treasure. Don't get stuck in the past move forward and you will find what you are looking for.
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A
female
reader, Entirely Unique +, writes (24 March 2010):
 I can't comment on whether the relationship you had was fake but from what you've said I am lead to think that shes grown out of you and this relationship.
I would keep up with the no contact, when a relationship ends we need to cut contact while we heal before we can think about whether we really want a friendship with this person and if so having a break from each other stops the relationship going into a friendship that can fall too easily into having alot of the relationship aspects because you've not had a break between the two.
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