A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I was introduced to this guy three months by a mutual friend. We hit it off instantly. We would often hang out after work and have long conversations. He would flirt with each other. Often I noticed whenever I would talk about what I would like in a partner, he would try to show how he fit the bill. I eventually developed feelings for him and decided to tell him.When I confessed, he apologized saying that although he was very glad he had met me, he has a girlfriend now who started dating a few weeks ago. He added if he were single he would have definitely asked me out.I was heart broken because just a few days ago he had been teasing how I miss him and that he just hanging out with friends. He went out to jokingly say he "wasn't dating or making out" and he was boring for girls to consider him.Not once he mentioned he was seeing someone else until I said I had feelings for him.Was I being led on the whole time?He assures me that he is not "turning me away" and he wants us to be friends and talk everyday like we used to.I am not sure what to do? Should I cut contact or stay friends?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (13 September 2016):
 I'd cut him off. Mostly because you have romantic feelings for him and HE would like for you to stick around - I think... as a backup in case this new GF doesn't work out.
I'd venture a guess that he saw you as a friend from the get go, but also as a challenge. Which is why he would try and show you what a great guy he is.
Not sure he strung you along intentionally, but he did enjoy the ego stroke he got from knowing you were interested. And unless he is an absolute clueless airhead, he knew before you told him.
I'd just drop off his radar and get busy with life. If he asks I'd just say you weren't looking for friendship and you rather not continue contact. And if he doesn't respect that.. I'd block him.
A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (13 September 2016):
 It sounds like he may have just thought off you as a friend the whole time, what you might have thought was flirting from his side, maybe it was just friendly banter. Maybe he never mentioned a girlfriend either because he didn't think it was relevant or else he is making her up to let you down gently. I don't think you should bother keeping up this friendship, you have stronger feelings so you will only end up hurt.
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