A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I joined my school's gaming club, because I love gaming and I want to meet other gamers, but almost all of the people in the gamer club seem to hate me, because one time I was with one of their friends and they kept bugging me and I lost my temper and yelled at them to chill out, and even though I apologized for losing my temper the next day, all of their friends hate me.I tried apologizing to everyone, but that didn't work. They just told me to stop bringing it up, even though I don't. I just wanted to make ammends...And it doesn't help that last week was the club president's birthday, and I totally forgot and I didn't wish him a happy birthday or anything :(I think there might be some rumors being spread by one particularily nasty girl who never liked me, even before I lost my temper at their friend.I just want to enjoy the club and make friends... How do I do this? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Abella +, writes (27 October 2012):
 Where there is a close knit community of people in any situation, at work, at school or in club the existing members can develop a "them versus us" mentality.
They do not see the reality.
They gang up and use nasty tactics to exclude the new person.
And you have the added complication of previously alienating them.
That they refuse to welcome you is their problem.
What you can do is hone your gaming skills.
Be well mannered and diplomatic at all times.
If you feel like "losing it" then count to ten and then walk outside, without a word to anyone.
Take the high ground and remain courteous to them at all times.
If you establish that you are good at gaming and you play fair with them then it is likely that they will thaw.
In the mean time you will need to rebuild some trust with them as trust is what they do not (yet) have for you.
By your own actions you can rebuild that trust.
Maybe go in a few tournaments and when you do well, do not boast about winning. Just be quiet and modest about your wins. Over time they will come to see that you are a good gaming player and that you play fair and will learn to respect you.
Once they respect you it will be much easier to make new friends.
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