A
female
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anonymous
writes:Okay well I am 14 and I used to date this boy a few years ago and I've known him for so long and we are quite good mates. He text my best mate and she fancies him and now he fancies her back. But it's really upsetting me because she fancies loads of people and I think he deserves better, i just feel really bad and I don't want to feel jealous but before she told me she fancied him I had feelings for him. Isn't there like and unwritten rule that friends don't date friends ex boyfriends?! what can i do!
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2006): hey, im goin thru the exact same crisis, as a matter of fact it only happened 2day. and i couldve sworn there was an unwritten rule. i went out wit my ex bf 4 nearly a year, we broke up a few months back, i still have lots of feelings 4 him, and he now goes out with one of my best mates, but i have sworn never 2 talk 2 her agen, cos she obviously doesnt value our friendship 4 anything. U need 2 ask ur friend, whether or not she does value ur friendship enuff 2 stop seein him. if she ses no then she aint a friend, if she ses yes, dnt make her break up with him cos that aint wat friends do, but u'll know she is a true friend and that she aint goin out with him 2 hurt u, she obviously just genuinly likes him and was hopin, seein as u broke a while back, that u would be okay with it. just talk 2 her and see if she really does value ur friendship over some stupid guy. love ya lotz, lil miss broken hearted xxxx
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 April 2006): There's no rule but it's not something a friend should do if she values your friendship at least not without checking your ok with it first. Does she know how much it is bothering u or does she think your over him?
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A
male
reader, tux  +, writes (6 April 2006):
 I think that rule has been through a game of telephone turned into a falsehood. What the real rule is "Friends don't date their friend's boy/girlfriends." not their ex's. Though if a friend were to date their friend's ex I believe the polite way around it would to give it time. Apparently, it's been a few years since you dated him which didn't work out. Now if you just broke up, then I would see a bigger problem. My advice is let it go and wish them the best.
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A
female
reader, bridget +, writes (6 April 2006):
 Hey there,
Well I have a cousin your age and she and her best friend
were talking one day, I overheard them, and my cousin said
"one rule girls have is that we dont date a best friends ex boyfriend, thats just yeauch and and a big Nooo"
I was astonished at the amount of gobledigook they were talking and was really dumbfounded when she said that to her friend..
I dont think it should be a rule but it is your ex and that is what has to motivate you now... Of course it will be hard but if he likes her then that is up to him, not you..
That rule about friends not dating friends ex boyfriends is annoying and when they get to my age (21) it becomes more natural and more the done thing...
Its just one of thoose things nowadays..
My advice to you is to stand back and leave them to it. let them get on with it... I know its hard being your ex and all but its for the best and you cant really make his mind up for him..
Good Luck
Jacqueline
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