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female
,
anonymous
writes: i've recently started dating a man, just 2 months ago. i met him on a dating site. he says he's very interested in me but he's still on the dating site. he says he isn't in a 'monogamous' relationship with me yet and we haven't consumated that yet, but he feels it's going in that direction for him. am i pushing too fast, or am i right for thinking if he's interested in me like he says and shows me, then he wouldn't be talking to other womem. he's a slow mover being divorced within a years time and i can respect that. not sure if i'm being too possessive and pushy? i don't feel like we can grow if he's talking to other women. is 2 months too soon to be thinking this way?
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you for you replys. i too am continuing looking. i'm going to give it one more month and if nothing chainges, i'm moving on. i think 3 months a man should know if he wants to persue only her or not. it makes me wonder if he's just a straight up player. it is hindering me from drawing closer to him and that's not a good thing. i don't feel like i'm being possessive. i'm giving him the space he needs but, i'm not going to continue this game and fighting this emotional battle with him of wanting to mkae it work and draw closer but not being able to knowing he's still leaving the door open with other women. he claims that he's had a chance to date a couple but is feeling soo strong for me that he cancelled. ??? i think their all liars in my book. thank you for your time and answers. D
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 February 2009): It sounds like he is not ready to settle down with one woman yet. He is surveying his options. I don't think it is unreasonable that he is doing this, perhaps you should be doing the same. There is nothing less attractive to a man than a woman who makes herself too available or seemingly desperate. (By the way, I am not calling you these things.)
Keep talking with him and going out like you have been, but take the time you need to REALLY know each other. Just see what naturally progresses. If he is a match for you then you will see within time that a relationship develops. BUT if he is not interested in giving you the things you need you should keep looking.
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