A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I'm so confused!There's this guy that wanted to get hooked up with me through a mutual friend of ours.We've been talking for 5 months now,BUT!! I found out that this girl that i thought was his girlfriend really is.He lied to me.So when I found out about it I told him I couldnt be his friend anymore.I guess we were FWB.Anyway he kept calling me and bought me roses, I ignored him for a couple days and he finally got in touch with me,long story short were still cool,but i wont sleep with him.His girlfriend lives in another state,so we spend a lot of time together.But he confuses me,he's always teasing me when I get calls from other guys asking if they're my boyfriend, and he'll call them and tell them were a couple.He calls me every single day and we see each other about 3 times a week.I'm divorced so I'm not used to the whole FWB thing so is normal or does he like me as more?? What do I do? Just dont understand all the mixed signals.When I tried to cut him out of his life he said he was'nt going for it..Please help!!
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male
reader, doublejack +, writes (7 October 2010):
I'd so no, this is not a FWB situation. The basic premise of FWB is that both parties understand that the relationship, while it has a sexual element, is nothing serious. It is just casual sex between friends. Since you were not aware that it was just a friendship while you were having sex with him, that disqualifies the relationship from being a FWB situation.
Really, what I'd say is that the guy is a player and was using you just to satisfy his sexual urges. That's all he wants from you, sex. I don't see where he's interested in anything more based on the info you provided.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Look, he has a girlfriend and wants to sleep with you on the side. What does that say about him? The reason he tells these guys you're a couple is because he is being possesive and is worried that if you do get a boyfriend then you will no longer be around to be his play thing. I have been there and trust me if he liked you as more than someone to have sex with he would dump his girlfriend. Why are you meeting up with him when he already has a girlfriend? Don't you have any self respect? Trust me he won't dump her for you he just wants the best of both worlds. You can cut him out of your life but you obviously haven't tried that hard. If you really want him out of your life then delete his number, block him and move on. I have a feeling what you really want to hear is that he is secretly in love with you and all these mixed messages are a sign of that but they aren't. His girlfriend lives in another state and he's not getting any from her, sorry but that's more than likely why he wants you around.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 October 2010): Okay look you do not want any unnecessary drama right? So with that in mind bottom line is this guy is already taken, even if the lady is in another state, i Mean be in her shoes would you want ur bf going around doing with other girls? Simple answer is NO. S, just cut it cold with him because he already has a gf no matter what he is doing with you. Bottom line is he is cheating on his own gf and well you might end up getting your heartbroken because if he is currently cheating on his gf from another state then what is stopping him from cheating on YOU with another girl. Bottom line is this is unnecessary drama and u need to lay it down that you are not his gf and simply put lady u need to move on with your life and get a real man who is not in a relationship.
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