A
female
age
51-59,
*usieQ1970
writes:After 7 years together my partner and I split up after a huge row and I moved out of the home we shared together. We spent the next 12 months bickering over our beautiful little boy until finally enough was enough and we started to behave like adults again and talk.We have begun to get close again and I realised that the love I felt for him had never truly gone away. He truly is my soulmate and the person I want to spend the rest of my life with.My probem is the guilt I feel. I treated him badly over the past 12 months and when I tell him how I feel about him now I feel a hypocrite. I also feel guilty that I was not able to provide our little boy with the parents he truly deserved for over a year.I feel I have let both him and our son down and I feel so desperate to put things right but feel my efforts are not good enough anymore. He says everything is fine but I feel I should be doing more. Can someone please explain to me whats going on? Is this just a guilt trip that will ease in time? Or is there something more deep down about our relationship that I should worry about?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 March 2007): Although you feel that you unfairly trated your partner when you had split up im sure that he was not entirely innocent himself and i think that it is wise to keep this in mind.You have had so much change over the recent months that it is inevitble that these are going to make you feel a bit insecure about things(including if your partner still is unhappy with the way you treated him) I believe that these feelings of guilt however may stem from feeling down. Often when i am going through a time when i am down i find i feel guilty about things that have happened a long time ago.I would advise that even though you have a hectic schedule take some time to treat yourself for the person you are. List all the things that are good about you including your cababilities as a partner and a mother.Even by you writing this and feeling like this i know you have loads.I also reccomend that you talk to your partner again about how you feel and make him understand how this guilt is taking over your life, every bit of reassurance will make things seem better.If things still do not improve i would suggest going to see your doctor,feeling guilty for a long period of time may mean you need extra support.Good luck.
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