A
female
age
41-50,
*heepingly
writes:I'm female and I take martial arts. I ahve a sensei who has been acting weird around me. He does weird stuff like:- If I get injured, he's overly concerned and one time I pulled a calf muscle which wasn't serious but he massaged it.- He does little touchie feelie things like put his arm around my shoulder, puts both his hands on my shoulders, or his hand on my back.- He gives me little nicknames and playfully teases and picks on me.- He always seems to be my practice partner during class when we're doing punch/kick drills.- When he's giving demonstration speeches or speeches in general he seems to always look at me alot while he's talking and he he doesn't look away for a long time.- He seems to make sure he says hi to me alot.- When I first got my uniform and my belt, he offered to tie my uniform belt for me. He did this for three class meetings in a row.- Even though I'm relatively knew to the dojo (6 months is considered new) he had me teach other newbie students and not the brown belt that was there and I'm a white belt. After class, I was passing by he said in a cutsie way "Thank you for helping me in class today..."- He's grabbed me by the belt once and tugged me to him when he wanted me to practice some ground wrestling techniques with him.- During the middle of a private practice session he said out of the blue "Am I keeping you from something? Am I keeping you from your boyfriend? Do you have any plans this weekend?" And I don't even have a boyfriend?- Another occasion I had gotten injured in class and the following week my food was all bruised and he asked me what had happened and he quickly added "Were you picking fights again or did your bf do that to ya?" and he laughed.Etc. Etc.I am flattered by the attention and this has been going on for the past 6 months off and on...he was just civil int he beginning but as time progressed he started acting like this MORE AND MORE. At first I thought it was typical Sensei behavior because after all Sensei's also fulfill a mentor kind of role but I don't think what I listed is considered normal Sensei behavior.I don't know what to think. I've found myself starting to like him. There's a possibility he might be married to someone who works at the dojo. But this has been eating at me for some time now and I want to talk to him about it.But I'm scared that if I do and find out he was just being nice and not hitting on me, then it will make things awkward and I don't want to feel like I have to leave the school.So what do I do?
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male
reader, Dazzerg  +, writes (20 October 2007):
 I think, from what you say here, he seems very interested, all the signs are there with any excuse to make physical contact with you and place you at the centre of his attention. I definatly think its more than friendliness and besides from what you say here he is clearly flirting with you.
As to what you should do, I think you should 'go fish' just like he did when he said about 'keeping you from your bf' which was an indirect way of asking if you had one without actually coming out and asking that. Try and weave your question subtly into conversation, maybe ask him his plans for the weekend and try and establish if he is planning to do anything with anybody. This way you dont have to risk openly answering the question you want answered and can proceed from there. Hope that helps. Good luck :)
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