A
male
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:is this consider a date? we've been talkin on the phone alot. almost everyday. we live in diffent states. im gonna be where shes at and i asked her to go to dinner and a comedy show with me.she said yes.i really like this girl but i just cant tell her how i feel. its never been this hard for me!!in the past month we've go to vegas and hawaii together. it feels like we're kind of together but we're not. Reply to this Question
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male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (13 June 2008):
 Well, I'm wishing you the best -- sounds like the Force is with you!!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionyes she is single, yes we've been really good friends and yes we can talk about almost anything. we have both just got out of a long relationships about 6 months ago.thats the other reason i dont want to push it. but regard all of that....just from vegas, hawaii, movies , dinner and stuff she has to know or have a feeling that i really like her right?? last week i got her 2 pies delivered cause she was craving for a pie in hawaii..
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): I think that things will happen on their own. You seem to be getting closer in a more romantic way. If you speak to each other every day and have been in a date situation, if you have feelings for her and you are both very close then I think its fairly likely that she feels the same way, or at least you would be able to tell if she does. If its really hard to tell her how you feel, maybe you could try a different approach... at dinner and the comedy, maybe you could flirt a bit more, put your arm around her maybe or hold/stroke her hand- that kind of thing. This would be a subtle way of seeing if she is comfortable with that without putting yourself out on a limb by telling her how you feel and risking rejection. If she seems uncomfortable with this contact you can just stop and go back to normal and that way there is no awkwardness either! If she does seem comfortable with it or responds positively to it, then you could always go in for a kiss ;)
xx
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 June 2008):
 One other thought I had. My now husband and I were friends for a while, and I knew he liked me more than just as a friend. But he was afraid of risking the friendship and how us being a couple might change the dynamics of the group we hung around with.
I finally had to be the one to ask him out, on a proper date. We've been married for nearly 14 years now. Of course, we didn't elope on the first date or anything remotely like that, but it started the dating relationship.
So if each of you likes the other, but no one does anything about it, you'll never know what could have been. Someone has to stick their neck out and risk it. It might as well be you.
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 June 2008):
That information helps a lot, thanks for the update. Yes, if she doesn't return your feelings, it might indeed make it awkward. But I have to ask you, is she single? Is she a really really good friend? Can you talk about all kinds of things together?
If you don't reveal a little bit of your feelings for her, you might be missing out on a good romantic relationship. I'd take a little risk and say that you feel very close to her.
You have two choices, as I see it. You either keep on with the friendship as it's going and hope things will develop further. They may, they may not. But you have known her a long time now.
The other choice is to take a little leap and tell her. You risk losing the friendship, of course, if she doesn't reciprocate your feelings. I don't know her, you do. You'll have to decide what she can handle hearing, but time does have a tendency to get away from us in these things. If you don't tell her, and you're hung up on her, and she's not interested, you'll be dangling for years. You might miss out meeting someone else, for instance, who would care about you in a romantic way.
I understand it's a dilemma, but just work through the possibilities in your head and decide what you can and cannot live with.
All the best.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthank you everyone for answering my post. well we are not intimate. we just been traveling as friends. we've knowned eachother for 14 years and aint seened or talked to eachother for 4 years. what happens if i tell her how i feel and she doesnt feel the same. would it make things weird?
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A
female
reader, Tisha-1 +, writes (12 June 2008):
It sounds like a date to me. You say you've been to Vegas and Hawaii with her? Are you two intimate in the bedroom, or is more a platonic, travel with a friend kind of thing?
Sorry to ask that question, but that information might help us answer your post a bit better.
Many women prefer to let the man set the pace for the relationship, and it might be that she's waiting for you to tell her how you feel about her first.
I have to ask, can't you simply say that you are developing stronger feelings for her and really, really like her?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): I'd say this was dating yes, but kind of casually. Like, you are seeing each other but haven't discussed your feelings for each other. I wouldn't worry about telling her how you feel, it sounds like everything is moving smoothly so it will probably happen naturally when the time is right! Good luck xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (12 June 2008): I have been in this situation myself and I agree with PeterPam, there is definitely a connection.
You should tell her how you feel, because many times she is probably feeling the same way as you but is waiting for you to make the first move.
Good luck!
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A
male
reader, PeterPan +, writes (12 June 2008):
Well, it seems like there's a connection there. I would call you a couple... I think you should ask/tell her how you feel... Trips to Vegas and Hawaii should be the big clues here. With the price of flights these days, nobody does that kind of thing without wanting to see a relationship be defined as "serious"... ya'know?
Go for it -- I get a feeling you won't be sorry... especially if your trips and hook-ups have gone well!
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