A
female
age
36-40,
*illywonka3505
writes:I believe my boyfriend may be insecure about himself and our relationship to the point it has possibly manifested itself into possesive and controlling. But the thing is I can't really tell if he is. Last night, I told him that I was going across town to stay the night with my family and wasn't going to come back until the following evening since he was spending time with his own family whom didn't yet know about our relationship yet. He told me "you do whatever you want regardless so whatever." Today, I told him I know you're upset about me not coming home and staying over with my family across town and that I wanted to come back at around 7pm. He told me not to bother because he needed some time to think about things because of what I did. I told him that I was sorry and didn't mean to hurt him and that I would give him his space. Is this a sign of a possessive/insecure person and other than break-up with him, is their anything I can do to help him recognize their issue? I really care about him and wanna help with his problem instead of leaving him if he doesn't end things with me first.
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reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): well what did you do to make him upset? i can't give you an answer without cause for reason. sometimes you have to put yourself in his shoes talk to him about whatever that is what you did.
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 November 2010): Well that is a great question and your mighty strong for hanging around with someone who does have an issue like this. First off its his issue and you've gotten close enough to him that he his sharing his fears in a way. Which is cool because if he wants too he can really grow with you. If your partner stimulates your fears than there is purpose to your relationship. However its quite an undertaking. 2nd Off he needs to realize it is him that has these insecurities. Weather its from a past relationship or his childhood something about himself he is not accepting. I wouldn't go your being insecure or anything like that but I would try to mind melt with him alittle. Try to get him to share some of his fears. Hopefully with time he will see that you mean him no harm but it is with time. He has to connect the dots not you. In doing this and finding out why he acts the way he does I think is getting really close to love.~josh best of luck
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