A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:i met this guy at work he is 25 years older than me. but we have so much in common, and i find him very intersting and i want to know more about him. i love him. we have been seeing each other for about 10 months now. he has told me he loves me to, and i want to give him babies, and marry him. my friends, and family say that this is wrong. and it wont last. that there is something wrong with this guy to want to be with someone so young. i dont see a problem but im an insider. what do you think?
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female
reader, Kristal23  +, writes (24 November 2012):
It's not wrong at all . do not listn to all the negative comments other people have . not all guys are looking for a trophy wife or just a good time . Of course they would be attracted to a younger women, they are men . just be open in your communication with the whole children thing and try and envision the future as much as possible before taking the next step :) i have a similar question, and as someone who is in an relationship with an older men, would you mind stopping by and reading it ? thanks :)
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused  +, writes (23 November 2012):
 “we have so much in common”
That’s good
“I find him very interesting, and I want to know more about him”
That’s great.
“I love him”
That’s good too.
“we have been seeing each other for about 10 months and he has told me he loves me to , and i want to give him babies, and marry him.”
Does he want this too. DOES he have children already? If so they are probably close to your age are you SURE he wants more kids? I gotta tell you I’m 52 my kids are older than you… my husband is actually closer in age to my older son than he is to me… and I was very scared hubby would want kids that I don’t want and can’t have…. Once we get past a certain age (at least for women) we don’t want the hassles of raising kids… we are ready for the grand kids. He’s grandparent age… are you sure he wants the expense, and the headaches of raising more children? HOW do you propose to afford to raise these kids if he has to retire… if he dies sooner rather than later, if he becomes physically disabled like I am now at 52?
I have no issue with age gap relationships (like I said my hubby is 13 years younger than I am) but I do have an issue with the idea of a person who is old enough to be a grandparent being irresponsible enough to bring more children into this world. You will more than likely end up a single mom…. While 50 is young, let’s say you marry in a year… and in two more years you get pregnant… so you are 28 (a lovely age to have a child) and he is 53) so then when the child is 18 and graduating from high school dad is 71 and retired… and hopefully active and healthy and young looking like my dad and not dead at 58 like my mom (from cancer not her fault you know)
Having children in large age gap relationships is a sketchy issue.
There is NOTHING wrong with him or you. I don’t’ see a problem but have you discussed babies with him?
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A
female
reader, Miz7 +, writes (22 November 2012):
If he truly loves you good idea but if you want to start your life with him... Doesn't it seem like he kinda already started his life so he's a little ahead. My friends also thinks it's a bad idea whom I'm dating since he's 5 years older but I'm only on highshool... Friends and family want you to make right decisions. Also think don't you want your children to know their father for a bit longer....?
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A
male
reader, eddie85 +, writes (21 November 2012):
 Your family and friends just want the best for you.
Do large age gap relationships work? Yes -- but they do come with their own challenges. And you should go into it with open eyes:
1) His energy level is going to be different than yours -- especially when children come along. Assuming he is in his upper 40's / early 50's, when the children do come along, he is not going to have the energy and perhaps patience as you would.
2) His sexual energy / appetite will likely decline faster than yours. Granted, he is a man, but some men have a rapid decline in testosterone after age 40.
3) He is planning for retirement soon (I assume). That may mean he would have to retire later since he will have children to support. This may cause resentment or he may expect you to work. Also do the math: at age 40 you'll be sleeping with a man who will be in his 60's. Still interested?
Before you commit to one another, be sure that you are open with your communication and your expectations. I definitely think you need to be more aware of the challenges that you will face with one another. However, if your relationship is solid, you'll be able to weather just about any storm.
Eddie
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A
female
reader, Staceily +, writes (21 November 2012):
 People will always see a problem with large age gap relationships. They will wonder what an older man could possibly have in common with a young woman, and since they can't see it they will assume it is shady- she is looking for money and he is looking for a hot young girl is the typical thought. All you can do is ignore them. With family they will come around when you have been together a lot longer. Strangers will always make the same comments.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): "he has told me he loves me to"What has he done to show you he loves you?"my friends, and family say that this is wrong. and it wont last. that there is something wrong with this guy to want to be with someone so young."As a guy his age, I can say that most guys my age who date girls your age do so for their own selfish, egotistical, ego-stroking reasons. He likely doesn't care for you as a person, just wants a trophy girlfriend to show the world that he's still a manly, virile stud who can still get it up and so young chickies like you want to sleep with him, marry him, and give him babies. Random question: Is your bio-father is in the picture? It is not uncommon for girls your age with Daddy issues to fill the void of an absent father in their lives by taking up with a much older man as surrogate father-head of household.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (21 November 2012): Nobody can help who they fall for, everything is legal, so if its what you both want to do then its entirely at your discretion to do so.
However, about the children part, do you know his views on that subject? Not many people who are 50 or approaching 50 will consider having any/more children, so if its a MUST for you to have children of your own and he doesn't want any/more, this isn't the right thing for you.
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